How To Read 100 Books A Year

By Keaton Patti

If you’re anything like me, you need to read 100 books a year or else the demonic sprite you made a blood-deal with will inherit your family estate that was just recently autographed by Dan Marino.

But with so many books to read and so little time (How long is a year anyway? Hopefully one of the books explains this), how will we be able to do this?

Fear not! For I have devised a method that is both foolproof and geniusproof!

Follow the simple steps below and your demonic sprite will be shaking his fist at you and cursing the day he ever agreed to that blood-deal which gave you Dan Marino’s contact information.

The Steps

1. Read book #1.
2. Read book #2.
3. Read book #3.
4. Read book #4.
5. Read book #5.
6. Read book #6.
7. Read book #7.
8. Read book #8.
9. Read book #9.
10. Read book #10.
11. Read book #11.
12. Read book #12.
13. Read book #13.
14. Read book #14.
15. Read book #15.
16. Read book #16.
17. Read book #17.
18. Read book #18.
19. Read book #19.
20. Read book #20.
21. Read book #21.
22. Read book #22.
23. Read book #23.
24. Read book #24.
25. Read book #25.
26. Read book #26.
27. Read book #27.
28. Read book #28.
29. Read book #29.
30. Read book #30.
31. Read book #31.
32. Read book #32.
33. Read book #33.
34. Read book #34.
35. Read book #35.
36. Read book #36.
37. Read book #37.
38. Read book #38.
39. Read book #39.
40. Read book #40.
41. Read book #41.
42. Read book #42.
43. Read book #43.
44. Read book #44.
45. Read book #45.
46. Read book #46.
47. Read book #47.
48. Read book #48.
49. Read book #49.
50. Read book #50.
51. Read book #51.
52. Read book #52.
53. Read book #53.
54. Read book #54.
55. Read book #55.
56. Read book #56.
57. Read book #57.
58. Read book #58.
59. Read book #59.
60. Read book #60.
61. Read book #61.
62. Read book #62.
63. Read book #63.
64. Read book #64.
65. Read book #65.
66. Read book #66.
67. Read book #67.
68. Read book #68.
69. Read book #69.
70. Read book #70.
71. Read book #71.
72. Read book #72.
73. Read book #73.
74. Read book #74.
75. Read book #75.
76. Read book #76.
77. Read book #77.
78. Read book #78.
79. Read book #79.
80. Read book #80.
81. Read book #81.
82. Read book #82.
83. Read book #83.
84. Read book #84.
85. Read book #85.
86. Read book #86.
87. Read book #87.
88. Read book #88.
89. Read book #89.
90. Read book #90.
91. Read book #91.
92. Read book #92.
93. Read book #93.
94. Read book #94.
95. Read book #95.
96. Read book #96.
97. Read book #97.
98. Read book #98.
99. Read book #99.
100. Read book #100.
101. Call up Dan Marino and tell him the good news.