Being of sound mind and slightly less sound white male body, I’m sure there are plenty of people who believe I don’t have the right to comment on some of what I’m about to comment on, and I find that quite offensive.

Okay, I really don’t, but I do find it ridiculous, and because of that I’m able to let it slide and get on with my life…but, not before I write about it.

I am absolutely amazed, almost on a daily basis, not only at the number of things people choose to be offended by, but at the amount of weight subsequently given to those feelings. Other than your garden variety house fire, there’s nothing the media likes more than to report on those who feel offended. Use the wrong word and you can forget about what any of your intent might have been…you are screwed. As an example, I was mortified a few years ago to have been chastised for using the word Oriental to refer to a person of Asian descent. I hadn’t received the memo that it was now considered offensive, and in fact I was incredulous. I hit the internet and did some research and, sure enough, I was wrong: Rugs, okay. People, not okay. I haven’t used it since then and while I am truly sorry if I offended anyone, I also won’t waste time on anyone who wants to accuse me of offensive intentions.

Open any paper and stories of those offended will abound. As I write this, Hawaiians are offended that a movie is titled Aloha; an IHOP hostess offended a cop by joking, “we don’t serve your kind;” two AP reporters are offended that some CEO’s make as much as movie stars; and a college coach is offensive to certain students because he liked the American Sniper film. Those are just some of TODAY’S headlines. On a daily basis Muslims, Christians, and Jews are offended the world over. Advocates of the handicapped, challenged, and the ill, take umbrage at any description of those they protect if it differs from their sanctioned description du jour. If you’re intelligent enough to be offended in the first place, you should be intelligent enough to understand the intent someone has. To be offended while at the same time knowing damn well there is no intent is, in itself, offensive and dishonest.

Let me tell you who I’m a fan of. I absolutely L — ​O — ​V — ​E those who turn the tables on an intended slight and, instead of claiming offense, they laugh at it or, better yet, embrace it. Packers fans are my favorite example of this phenomenon. Years ago, with every intent of offending, rival Bears fans began calling their neighbors to the north Cheeseheads, and instead of engaging in a no-we’re-not-yes-you-are battle, or whining about how offended they felt, they completely and fully embraced it.

“Cheesehead? Hell yeah! Sweet! That sounds great! We can make special hats and turn it into an industry. Thanks for the idea!​”

I think in large part that’s why I, as a white male, am rarely offended. I struggle to think of something that someone could say to me that I wouldn’t actually laugh at. Cracker? Honky? I don’t even know what those mean. For the same reason, I don’t get all bent out of shape claiming a double-standard and asking, “Why is it okay for a black man to use the ‘N’ word and not me?​” Not only do I think it is absolutely okay, I think it’s great. Owning the word is the best first step towards robbing it of its ability to offend. That said, I can intellectually understand how hard the next step in defusing the word can be. The “N” word is still fraught with too much ugly history to have lost its offensiveness, but perhaps someday we’ll all be enlightened enough that it becomes so.

If you do want to offend me, or have me laugh in your face (just depends on what mood I’m in), then call me a racist (or tell me I don’t have a sense of humor). If I’m talking about anybody who may be a different color, sex, religion, or have a different sexual orientation than I, it drives me crazy (I’m sure I just offended some mental health advocate) that any opinion I might have that isn’t sugar-sweetened, scrubbed, and politically-corrected before I say or write it, runs the risk of being called racist, sexist, bigoted, or homophobic.

I could lie and say I don’t care, but I do. Even if it’s due to misunderstanding or because intent is ignored, I don’t want even the most ignorant to believe I’m racist or otherwise insensitive. Partly that’s because I myself am sensitive, but mostly it’s because as soon as I become misunderstood I lose any ability to get my point across. I think in so many national discussions we aren’t able to get to the heart of issues because we’re too busy couching our remarks. So much is left on the table in important conversations because they’re cut short and ignored as soon as a supposed offense takes place.

I often feel I need to be three times more eloquent and four times more measured in my remarks than those who don’t share my anatomy and skin color or else the entire conversation comes to a screeching halt. I should be able to discuss things that aren’t exclusive to a short, white, curly-haired, freckled, goofy, corporate, commuting, Midwestern, redheaded, confused Christian male. If I say something you don’t agree with, challenge me. Continue the conversation. Educate me and be open to an education of your own, but don’t tell me I have no standing to disagree with someone just because they are a tall, black, long-haired, professorial, Eastern, cross-eyed Muslim woman!

Most of all, don’t LET me or anyone else offend you. Don’t GIVE that power to others…and make no mistake, it IS your power to give. Give up your propensity to be offended, but, if you don’t, then please don’t complain to me. My opinion is that 90% of those who act offended actually want to be. They live for the offense! They are energized by it and are incapable of making their own points if they don’t begin from a position of self-righteous offense. It’s like the boy who cried, “Wolf,​” and I’m not falling for it.

Personally, I believe a person’s intent should always be considered. Then, at the earliest sign of feeling offended, we should ask ourselves if our feeling isn’t actually as ridiculous as whatever it is we think we’re offended about.