You Think I Want Your Life?

Kel Campbell
Listen To My Story
Published in
4 min readFeb 1, 2016

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Because of the exhaustion I’ve felt encountering the raging, oozing herpes of “Be awesome like me!” articles on the web, I laughed at this video more than was necessary. If you don’t share my strange sense of humor, and based on my social interactions I can tell you that’s probable, let me explain why I think it’s hilarious. This self-serious entrepreneur dildo created a YoutTube video telling us how to live so that we can all get a Lamborghini like him, and this video just makes that whole type of person look as silly as he is.

The dude in the YouTube video says that the fast car reminds all the dreamers out there that good things can happen. He wanted to inspire us to work hard so we could all get a Lamborghini. In a striking coincidence, I was driving home from work and saw a nice car that had vanity plates reading “HRDWRK”. I had an epiphany about these people who are operating in the world, anxious to tell us how to get their life.

The first is that they believe that because I drive a Smart Car, that I must not work hard. First of all, you fucking assholes, don’t you tell me about hard work. I have worked longer hours and more grueling jobs than you could imagine, you faded-jeans wearing, fat-assed computer watching, smarmy, privileged, office-dwelling elitists. Second of all, you think that I got a degree in sociology and went to work for arts and education nonprofits because I’m seeking a car that costs more than my house? You think that I found a history major to marry because I wanted a swimming pool? You think that I made friends who work for the public good because of how they could help my career?

But let’s rewind back to that ride home from work, when I saw ol’ HRDWRK speed by. I was starting my weekend. It was a beautiful, 75 degree day in Texas. I turned on some Peter Frampton and opened my sun roof and windows. The wind was blowing my hair off my neck and shoulders while the sun warmed my face. Since my husband had a friend over to play video games, I took myself out to dinner where I indulged in expensive wine, breath-killing garlic pizza, dank espresso and a dessert that was basically a french toast and nutella sandwich. I came home to my husband and dogs afterwards, who had missed me very much. The next morning I woke up and we went for a hike in a beautiful nature preserve. That evening we met a friend for a rad-AF stoner metal concert followed by a night cap in a warm bar with good beer. The next day I had a lunch with some friends who intentionally got together so we could encourage each other to keep going on our New Year’s resolutions. I went to bed full to the brim with gratitude and happiness on Sunday night. The total cost of my weekend was probably around $100.

And these people think that I want their life?

You think that I’m seeking certain material possessions in my life, as if I didn’t see all four of my grandparents sell their homes and move into the same one-bedroom retirement village prison before dying in a single hospital room with one photo by the bed? You think that I want to live among the rich people who I served at Starbucks, who were so desperate for quality human interaction that they would open up to a barista about their desperate loneliness, infidelities and problems? You think that any of my happiest moments in my life have costed anything? You think that somehow creating Candy Crush Saga would make me feel more accomplished than seeing people’s lives literally changed by the work that I’ve been a part of in the nonprofit sector?

You should be asking ME for advice, you supercilious assholes. Because guess what? I’ve done it. I’ve found the happiness that has eluded kings and movie stars and rich people. I have felt contentment running through my good days and bad like a strong, old river. I have taken pleasure in the small luxuries and intimate experiences between people I love. I have conquered so many of my personal faults and feel confident that I can continue to become better and more fulfilled. I have learned to love in boldness and to be loved. I have felt heartbreaking gratitude every. single. day. of the past fourteen years because unlike so many couples I’ve seen, I feel true and joyful love that is my food, my sustenance, my very life.

And you think I want YOUR life?

Get the fuck out of here.

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Kel Campbell
Listen To My Story

A content and communications pro with words across the internet.