Why I’m Signing Off AIM
…For Good.
The other day at school a rumor shook through the 8th grade locker bays that Nick and Katie broke up — Century Junior High’s power couple. Before any of the grade had time to recuperate from this blow to the social ecosystem, another rumor began to make waves, Nick has a crush on Kelly. I am Kelly.
I learned of this development in homeroom when Sarah passed me a note alluding to the news. Her note said, “Nick likes you ☺.” I quickly understood what she was saying, but refused to publicly acknowledge it. “Whatever,” I wrote back, but inside I thought I might pass out. At the sound of the final bell I decided to forgo the after school hangout sesh (session) in the caf (cafeteria) for fear of unwanted attention and went straight to the parking lot where my dad was waiting to drive me home. As soon as I got home I grabbed some chips and a Vanilla Coke and went straight for the computer room. I logged onto my AIM account, MiSSkEllY13 and waited for halfbackTK (Nick). My heart filled with hope and my stomach with butterflies each time I heard the familiar sound of the digital door opening, but was met with retching disappointment each time it wasn’t him. Oh, it’s only VolleyballPanda. Oh, it’s just PiNkSpArkLeS09. I really don’t have time for this, LaKeViLLeBlOnDie, please stop sending me links to embaums world.
By the time 8:00 pm rolled around my eyes were bloodshot and my heart was heavy — still nothing from halfbackTK, but I refused to sign off, knowing that the second I did he would appear. I could hardly handle venturing out of earshot, for fear of missing his chat notification. Bathroom breaks were minimal and hasty. Finally, at 10:00 pm I knew it was time. I began to close each window, saving AIM for last — but would I have the strength to go through with it? Just as I was about to sign off, something happened. The digital door opened and in walked the elusive halfbackTK, I had to do a double take to make sure my mind wasn’t playing a cruel trick on me. There he was in all his glory, ONLINE. My heart was racing, I didn’t plan for this part. Messaging him first was out of the question, obviously. My high was wearing off with each minute that passed and instead, overwhelming sadness overcame me. Why isn’t he talking to me? Doesn’t he like me? Was the rumor just a rumor? Should I update my buddy profile with a new song lyric? Did he just sign off??! No wait, still there. And just when I was about to lose all remaining hope…
halfbackTK: Hey!
MiSSkEllY13: hi!
halfbackTK: what up?
MiSSkEllY13: nm, hanging out at home
halfbackTK: cool cool, just got home from brett’s
halfbackTK: hey i gotta go, later!
halfbackTK signed off at 10:09pm
That was it.
I dedicated my entire afternoon to a four minute interaction that couldn’t even be counted as small talk. I missed Gilmore Girls for a drive by “hey!” I felt my world crumbling around me as I signed off for the night. I was numb as I climbed into bed, but that’s not even the worst of it. My last thought before drifting into sleep? Maybe tomorrow’s AIM chat will be better.
Our generation continues to be consumed with the world of AIM, our actions willingly ruled by away messages, the time it takes for someone to respond, curating the perfect buddy profile, the lyrics to No Such Thing by John Mayer, and digital door slams that you can’t help but take personally. I’ve had enough of it and I’m ready to post my final away message once and for all.
My daily routine has become dependent on AIM activity in ways I didn’t think were possible. I hear a song and instantly pick it apart for the best lyric to add to my profile. AIM has made it impossible to simply enjoy Dashboard Confessional. Hands Down will never sound the same. Signing onto AIM is my autopilot, without realizing it I’ll be sitting in front of my Dell computer chatting with friends I was in class with less than an hour ago. Not once does it cross our minds to simply hang out with each other. Together. In person. In the same room. Madness! We message back and forth in shorthand and think that we’re making a connection, but we’re not.
hEyyyyy
whats up?
n2m u?
lol same brb
kk
sry g2g
That is why I’m signing off of AIM for good, and I hope others with join me. I hope we can take a good, long look in our locker mirrors and see not who we’ve become, but rather what we’ve become. AIM has taken our friendships and cheapened them, leaving us with profile shout outs that always seem to leave out Danielle who always seems to notice.
What I hope to get out of this lifestyle change is to finally see what I’ve been missing in the real world. I’m excited to see what’s out there, but I’m also scared. Will I drift away from my friends? The possibility is real. But this experiment might also bring us closer together IRL. Only time will tell, to be honest. And with that I must say:
