Woman Emotionally Braces Herself For The Death Of Childhood Dog Every Time Mom Calls

BROOKLYN, NY — Jessie Stampe, 23, automatically assumes that her childhood dog, Riley, has died every time her mom unexpectedly calls. “Ever since Riley’s 13th birthday, I’ve realized that any day could be The Day,” Stampe said, adding that her mom’s ominous, “can you call me?” texts don’t do much to alleviate anxiety, as they usually result in a discussion about the most recent episode of The Amazing Race. “There was once a time when the only reasons my mom called were to tell me that she found out I over-drafted last month or to talk about how the squirrels were stealing the bird food. Those were simpler times,” Stampe said. Upon further discussion, Stampe clarified that the squirrel calls still happen, just less frequently than she’d care to admit.

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