How You Can Spread Love, Travel the World, and Make Six Figures by Twenty-Five

Despite the title, this article is for everyone, not only folks under twenty-five. If you’ve crossed that threshold, don’t fret, this stuff will work for you too. So welcome!

Everything that follows rests on a premise that you need to understand for any of this article to make sense. So here it is: success and happiness are not synonymous. While they can contribute to one another, they do not share a definition. The clarification is necessary because this article will inevitably draw two audiences; those in search of success and those in search of happiness. The difference? Success is a construct, a social agreement between humans applying wealth, power, and fame as the biggest three criteria. Happiness, on the other hand is not something we invented. It’s something we chase. It’s the reason we go out into the world everyday and function; it’s what we yearn for. It’s the reason one hundred years on earth doesn’t seem that long. It’s why you read and why I write these fluffy little articles that make me feel influential. It is the quintessential “why.”

I chose to hook you with spreading love, traveling the world and making six figures by twenty-five for two reasons. The first is personal knowledge. I’m twenty-five, i’ve done those things and it’s not as impossible as folks would have you believe. So I want kill the myth that there is some big secret. Second and most importantly, those particular goals were chosen because of what they represent. Love is good energy. Travel is experience. Money is (or should be) freedom. So this is actually an article about how to increase good energy, gain experiences, and earn more freedom by the time you are twenty-five. In other words, this is a piece about growing happiness, not success.

“The universe is your GPS. If you keep a destination in mind, it doesn’t matter how many wrong turns you take, it will always recalculate your route. But you have to keep moving.”

I will spare you the in-depth discussion of my modest upbringing in a beautiful but dangerous and destitute little hometown. Suffice to say we didn’t have much. I remember one occasion when my younger brother and I, at nine or ten years old, tried to bribe the power company worker with twelve dollars hoping he would leave the lights on. He didn’t. But everyone was poor so no one knew the difference. Fights and bullets were common place and RIPs were mainstays. Not much room for softness, weakness, or love.

So how does a sensitive little kid, hardened by the hood re-learn to feel and spread love? How did that boy from that tiny city go on to speak to thousands in over 40 states, 5 countries and 4 continents? How does a kid who never met a black lawyer growing up find himself steps away from becoming one? How Sway? To answer that we’ll need a few good old clichés. Like I always say, clichés don’t become clichés by being wrong. So below are the few that I find relevant in this case.

1. Know When to Speak Without Permission and When to Shut Up

How many times have you had an answer you believed, but were unsure of, and remained silent only to have someone else say exactly what you were thinking? They get praised for their insight and you get nothing. I know the feeling and it sucks. Here’s the lesson: no matter the topic, you know something valuable. Every person has a host of unique experiences that at any given time could provide the missing insight needed for a situation. Don’t wait to be asked. Don’t wait for permission. Be vigilant watching for your opening, and when you see it, double-dutch that shit! I can trace everything I have accomplished so far back to one moment in middle school when I decided to raise my hand at a conference ( which I was forced to go to as punishment for fighting). I stood up and read a speach I had written on the spot for no reason other than having something to say. That act attracted my mentor and the rest is history.

As with everything else though, the rule of moderation applies. There is a reason they say silence is golden. With silence, you learn. Most times, you can absorb all of the information you need about people and things just by listening. So when you want to know something, shut up. The other time you should shut up is when you have no idea what you are talking about. Everyone laughs at the loud fool, but no one respects him.

If you learn to speak up when necessary, your love for your own spirit will grow. If you learn to listen whenever possible, your humility will grow and therefore so will your ability to love and spread love to others.

2. Learn to Like Everything

Fruits and vegetables. Maybe a plate of vegetables doesn’t have the natural appeal or deliciousness of a bowl of fruit but your body needs it just the same. Life is the same way. It’s easy to fall for the things we naturally love, to become obsessed with passion. Especially when we always hear “do what you love,” “do what makes you happy,” “if your job is your passion, you will never work a day in your life.” While true, these sentiments are misleading. The fact is you will not be naturally drawn to some of the things that are good for you. Building certain skills is boring. Learning certain habits is torture. But if you can train your mind to find the beauty, enjoyment or inspiration in the dull things, you will become better, faster.

Law school sucked. I did not love it. It was not fun. It was not my passion. But I decided to like the challenge, to appreciate the game, and to enjoy the knowledge. I learned to be inspired by the difficulty and it made me a better writer, a more structured thinker, and a more diligent worker. The point is, you may not be able to decide to love something, but you can decide to like it. Diversifying yourself this way creates a global appeal over time that will invite opportunities of all kinds.

You want to travel the world? Learn a set of skills that can benefit people from all walks of life. Build cultural competence and become a source of inspiration for all. In short, become worldly. If you position yourself this way even when it seems boring or useless, unimaginable opportunities will find you. So, eat your damn vegetables.

3. Just Keep Swimming

A great and wise young fish once said, “Just keep swimming.” Unbeknownst to her, she was reciting the golden rule of goal reaching. The rule is simple and applies even when you don’t quite know what your goals are. As long as you have a general idea of what you want, you can get there. Here’s how it works: The universe is your GPS. If you keep a destination in mind, it doesn’t matter how many wrong turns you take, it will always recalculate your route. But you have to keep moving. The only way it doesn’t work is if you stop going forward. Some call it the law of attraction, others call it Karma, and many don’t subscribe to any particular belief but still have names for it like coincidence or serendipity. Either way, life is one big ball of variables waiting for you to shape it with values.

In 2011 I was desperate to travel the world. I tweeted about how fed up I was with borders and other humans restricting our ability to travel. I talked about it constantly. I had never been outside of the United States and international travel was all I thought of. Within a year I was invited to speak in Rome, Dubai, Vienna, Kenya and other foreign lands. The opportunities haven’t stopped knocking since. Similarly, I never knew exactly what I wanted to “be” in life (still don’t) but I have always been generally certain of what I wanted to do…change the world. That one general destination has always been clear and has been my only coordinate. With that, and forward movement, progress continues to find me. The same will be true for you.

Disclaimer: I don’t believe in advice, only stories. This is my story.