Demons

Greetings once again!

So the inspiration for this mini-rant comes from the song Demons by Imagine Dragons.

In recent months I've been looking for an apartment with some friends of mine that I've grown quite close to in the last six months. Now, another friend of mine who lives in the nearby city of Barrie often talks about how she wants to live with me someday. Presumably after she’s finished University… Then again she also wants to move halfway across the country… but we won’t get into that.

My first roommate was an old friend of my dad, a woman twice my age. She warned me about moving in with friends, as she had destroyed many friendships. She said that no matter how well you get along as friends, living together is a whole other thing.

At first I thought “Nah, we’ll be fine.”, and with some of my friends, I think we will; however, these are friends that share certain traits. For example, we all have some form of anxiety or depression, so if one is feeling anti-social, the others know better than to push it. And we’re very comfortable around one another.

This friend from Barrie, she’s not one of those. Sure, we've been “Twins” as she calls it, for I think almost seven years. I go along with it, but I know she doesn't know me as well as she thinks. She knows it too, but she pretends, and gets jealous of my few friends who actually do. Most of which I have known for much shorter periods.

This leads me to wonder, if I were to indulge her fantasy of us living together… How would she handle the demons I hide? Not to be melodramatic, but they are not your typical demons… And those friends of mine who may read this will agree. I’m almost tempted to test it, but at the same time, I think I might break her…

I have a similar problem with the idea of dating. There’s a boy who has had a thing for me since the tenth grade, but he also lives in Barrie — actually, I met him through her. Originally she had a crush on him… Obviously it didn’t go well. We’re all still awkward friends though. Yay?

He’s very smart, handsome, and talented… but sheltered too. Even if I were to get past the drama and trauma of that weird love triangle thing… I seriously worry about breaking the poor boy. Some people would say “Give it a shot, maybe it’ll work out!” but the thing is, I’m not sure how strongly I feel, and if it’s not enough, I may break him for nothing.

There’s really no happy ending or conclusion to this rant, because I’m pretty sure this issue will go on for years… Especially since he has a girlfriend or something… which makes me sad because I always get the distinct impression that she’s a stand-in… Is that just me being conceited?