Don’t Tell Me What To Do; Please Like Me!
The two faces hiding behind our social interactions
Not a Medium member? You can read this story here.
Some people are unfazed by being pushed around; others would gladly die on a hill than honor a request to move.
Some don’t care what others think of them. Others spend much of their time crafting their communications to elicit specific regard.
How we relate to these two ideas — being told what to do and being liked — is at the core of why we behave the way we do. Gaining a deeper understanding of these two principles and how they work can improve your success in your daily interactions.
Our identity, but just the face bit
The concept of ‘face’ was introduced by Erving Goffman in a 1955 Sociology paper and can be most easily summarised as “the positive social value people claim for themselves.” In less academic speak, ‘face’ is about how we present ourselves and how we wish others to see us.
Viewing our social interactions in terms of our face — the public self-image we wish to project — can be a useful lens for understanding our reactions to others, as well as their reactions to us.
