Kuwait Life: My Daughter Gets To See Different Because Her Dad is Present!
We are a family of three who live in Kuwait. Today my hubby decided to take our three-year old daughter on a date. As, I was leaving out this morning to run errands I found the sweetest note at the door from my husband to our daughter Sydni. I thought it was the most adorable thing ever and something I want to keep for years to come.
This moment is so special for me and puts a huge smile on my face. I grew up without my father. I don’t see myself as a victim but someone who had to maneuver through the cards I was dealt. This was all apart of God’s ultimate plan for my life. My father was on drugs and alcohol for a majority of my life. No matter how many times my father didn’t show up, I always forgave him and told myself that he loved me even though his actions didn’t match his words.
I was fortunate to have some great men who truly showed up in my life. They spent quality time with me and really help boost my self-esteem through their unconditional love. I am eternally grateful for these men because had they not been there, I know my outcome would be different. So, thank you to those men who invested their time in my life.
My father not being apart of my life growing up caused me to deal with abandonment issues. In ALL of my relationships I braced myself for the other person to leave. I was a runner. On the run in the relationship before the other person could hurt me. I insulated myself because I did not want to feel the aftermath of abandonment.
Now, I have the tools in my toolbox to help me when circumstances trigger my abandonment. I have an accountability partner in my husband and my close friends. It give me chills to think that perhaps God allowed me to be fatherless so that my daughter would never know the pain of abandonment and the anxiety you feel when you think someone is going to leave you. My husband is my hero because he patiently loves me through the residue of the wounds of growing up without my dad.
My daughter will understand her worth by the way her father treats her. My daughter will not lower her standards because her father took time for her as he did today. My daughter will know how to be loved by a man watching her father demonstrate his love to me. My daughter will feel safe because her daddy is there to protect and love her.
It stops with her! If all of the tears I had to cry due to my dad disappointing me was to see this moment…my husband interacting with my daughter. I would do it all over again because it was well worth it.
To all of the men out there who do not have a relationship with your children. I’m not here to judge you but I do want to give you a good tap on the shoulder. Your one bad decision today will affect your son and/or your daughter for the rest of their lives. Now that I am grown and can process a lot differently than I could at six years old. I understand that my father could not be a father to me because his dad wasn’t there for him. My dad didn’t have the tools to be a father. He gave me all he good give even though it fell way short!
So, men, man up! Step up to the plate. Get counseling. Ask for help. There are a lot of men who grew up without a father and they are awesome dads to their children. Do what you have to do to dig deep and take care of your responsibility.
Think about it,