Mr. Shiny writes!
Eh?
OK, so here’s what happened …
It was a dark and stormy night … I began reading, then an eyebrow raise after the first paragraph, then other worldly life busyness and I was forced to bookmark it. And I kept thinking of it. Curiosity successfully piqued.
So I finished. Hm. This is quite good, but hm.
Some minor edits … ?
and had both had died at the claws of a beast that they had both been sure they could kill.
(too many 'hads’?)
Til scratched his cheek, trying and failing to avoid becoming curious what startled her.
(maybe 'about what startled her’?)
He was glad they couldn’t read minds. His mind thudded with only a few words, over and over again…
About to die…about to die…about to die…
Still unsure how it happened, but determined
I’m subjective here, of course, but the “about to die about to die” part doesn’t seem to quite fit, like it seems forced in order to lead into the next part. Like it’s not as smart writing as everything else. There’s something suddenly oafish about it. Maybe a better segue?
OK, so I was pretty engrossed. The setting I could envision like maybe the setting of Xena the Warrior Princess or Willow, and there was something cozy about it for me. (even though I hated these shows growing up and always knew it was Sunday when they were on because there was nothing on).
But then toward the end I experienced a kind of up and down disappointment, not in the writing, but in the thought: oh man, so they’re just werewolves?
Then I have a question about this sentence:
The bait had been the wolf’s hide, disguised as the mangled skin of a werewolf.
This may actually be a part of the suspense but it confused me. I thought the villagers believed the (animal) killer to be a wolf, not a werewolf? I thought the realistic part of it was the setting and the villagers and so the unrealism of a realistic people thinking about the unrealism of a werewolf? Is it realistic to believe that a regular wolf could and would consistently kill people?
Anyway, fancy schmancy Oliver Shiny. Good stuff. 😀
