Your Fat Friend, Before & After
Your Fat Friend

Im a good 80 pounds overweight and I have to say- I don’t agree with most of what you said.

Yes, you are fat.

The media is a dick.

Skinny people don’t get it.

I understand all of that. That’s been a way of life for me since like…3rd grade. I’m 29 now.

But for me, this is incredibly frustrating to read. Mostly because I remember a few years ago, having a similar mindset.

I felt sorry for myself all the time.

I blamed other people and the media for my sufferings.

Imagine the hypocrisy of it- telling other people to watch how they talk, what they put on TV, what they think, because I’ve decided that changing is not something that I can do! They need to control their actions because you can’t control yours.

On what planet does that make any modicum of sense?

More than the state of your body, think about the state of your mind. It’s a completely self defeatist mentality- you’re blaming everyone and your doctor- no where are you taking ownership of your actions.

The source of my suffering, was just that- I didn’t take ownership of my actions.

“Character — the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life — is the source from which self-respect springs.” — skinny bitch Joan Didion
“Mental health isn’t always about feeling good. As I define it, mental health is about accepting reality on reality’s terms.” — Dr. Drew Pinsky

Have you heard of stoicism? It was a pragmatic approach to philosophy, used by poets, slaves, emperors, soldiers, and ordinary folk to help solve their problems in life. The wisdom of these Romans still applies to us.

At its core, stoicism’s ethos was simple: Take the obstacles in your life and turn them into advantages.

These stoic philosophers didn’t write to share their ways of thinking- it was all about solving the problems in front of them.

It was the great philosopher Epictetus that said

“In life our first job is this, to divide and distinguish things into two categories: externals I cannot control, but the choices I make with regard to them I do control. Where will I find good and bad? In me, in my choices.”

And Marcus Aurelius, at one point the most powerful man in the world as the Emperor of Rome, who said

“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

Stoicism isn’t popularized or that well known, though recently has enjoyed a resurgence thanks to guys like Ryan Holiday and Tim Ferriss. But it has been a tool used by many of the greatest minds we’ve ever known to turn their obstacles into triumphs.

My advice to you is simple- read Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle Is The Way. And then focus on the things you control, rather than the news trolling us and the well intentioned, but bumbling actions of others.

The world around you will rage on incessantly- that is a constant that will not change.

For what it’s worth, the reason i’m 80 lbs overweight and not 110 lbs is because i started focusing on my actions. So far it’s been 4 months. Which is a miracle, considering a lifetime of buttergoleming around got me here in the first place.

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