I agree not having sex and not having orgasms would lead to frustration. It’s also not healthy. That’s why I never said that.
I said, “ I’m telling you to stop making sex and orgasm your goal–especially if you are a man.”
Stop making sex the goal. Instead make your goal be keeping each other turned on. Orgasm is the temporary disruption of your seduction.
“Your orgasm is a temporary relief from desire. Temporary. It is the outlier, the side effect, the necessary evil your body sustains to keep you healthy. It is not the goal. Burn that in your brain.”
I would go edit it to make it clearer but on reading it again, I think it is clear enough and you might just need to read it again.