I close my eyes and sigh

To try to swallow down
The guilt
My conscience invaded my dreams last night
And I thought I lost everything
What pushed me to this point in my life
To smile at the sweet sentiment
Gifted in a secret box
Blessed with a secret kiss
Hidden from the one who 
So close to my heart
I stare at the flame as it plays with my fingers
Warming my skin
Illuminating a darkness
And he lies
Beside me and talks in his sleep
I feel nauseous
As I stand at a void 
Clouded with secrecy 
Inviting with intimacy
 Surrounded by raging fire