To: You, my inexplicable desire…

I’m not sure why, but I am completely smitten with you. I know nothing about you, but I find myself thinking about you constantly.

CONFESSION: I am recently single, so I though perhaps I am just in a place where every male with a pulse would be intriguing to me, but this just hasn’t been true. There are several men who have expressed interest in me, but I want NONE of them! Not to menion, no one has captured even my most basic interest other than you. I can’t stop thinking about you! Again, not sure why…

Please just put me out of my misery and tell me that you are married with 42 children, or at least have a girl-friend, or boy-friend, not interested or even curious about me, or are somehow an A-sexual creature, tell me literally ANYTHING… Just help me forget about you! Tell me that you don’t date outside of you’re “race”, etc. — race, by the way, doesn’t exist in nature… A little science or you.

I need to find a safe place in which to exist. I did absolutely nothing that would have precipitated this desire for you, and neither did you for that matter…, but here I am — completely bonkers with emotions for you and I don’t know why. I have no explanation for why I am so enthralled with you.

I have been listening to love songs and torturing myself with thoughts of you.

I am sorry for this potentially disturbing news…

Please believe me when I say that if you don’t want to talk business with me anymore, I completely understand and would probably choose the very same path. My affection for you scares me because I don’t know where it comes from, so I can only imagine what you might be thinking — if you were to ever find out...

My sincerest apologies for this, perhaps misplaced, energy! My greatest apologies to whoever has won your heart!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations to him/her/it!!!!! I wish you the absolute best in all levels of happiness with them!!!

My time has come to disappear into the ether and follow the love that only lives once and perhaps persists from childhood… What that means is that, the only other time that I was completely smitten over someone without reason, was when I was six years-old, first grade. I was in love with my classmates older brother who was in the 5th grade. I didn’t understand what I was feeling then, and I don’t understand what I am feeling now. He was my first unexplained “love”, you seem to be the second. I’m sure I don’t “love” you, however, my feelings are unlike anything else that I felt since the ripe age of six; strong, un-precipitated, and unexplainable!!! This is not lust either… by the way.

I am not sure why I have developed such emotions for you. I am a lover of science and nature and therefore would love to be studied while in this state so that what I am feeling (Love) could be better defined for the rest of humanity. The emotion that I feel for you appears to operate on a realm that is void of logic, but comprised almost entirely of unprovoked emotion.

There is only one force that can make love expand when it is otherwise contained or dormant; music!!! Most of us know that music is the voice of the soul! I would love to explore the biological association between music and emotions/love. I just might find out what my brain is doing and why mushy love-songs keep me vibrating within the highest level of my humanity, with you in mind. But then again, it’s not Love, I just don’t know what else to call this level of emotion.

Again, please forgive me for my unyielding expression. I wish I had more self-control than this, right now, but apparently I am acting on something other than reason.

No offense, but here’s a thought. What if these unfounded emotions of mine went away if/once we became better acquainted? LOL!!! After all, they are not coming from a place of reason or logic. I have less than NO explanation for what I am feeling, because, well… I DON’T KNOW YOU AT ALL! LOL!

Don’t worry, I won’t be stalking you or anything actively crazy! It’s just “puppy-love”, not anything worthy of a padded room and an extra cozy jacket! I’m harmless, just a girl in love… for some strange, inexplicable, freak-of-nature reason!!!

Please be well……


In “love” and confused…

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