Go to work. You can do this. And you don’t have to do it forever…just one day at a time. If that’s overwhelming, than just plan on one hour at a time. Or even…one minute at a time. Even one minute is more than is being done now. (As it is in my own life with similar obligations such as a job.)
It’s just a job. It’s not a career, or a life’s calling or a mission. JUST A JOB.
AND YOU CAN DO THIS.
YOU CAN DO THIS. (Rinse and repeat as often as necessary.)
This is all scary as shit, isn’t it? This mental illness thing…the feeling that your own mind is somehow “out to get you”. I am dealing with adjustments in my medications — I have added medical marijuana for pain relief and OMG it works like a freaking miracle. But I also found out that I have (dangerously) high blood pressure when I take my anti-depressant and fibromyalgia med together. (Bupropion <Wellbutrin> and Duloxetine <Cymbalta> for those who are also taking them.) It’s a listed, documented and severe interaction.
And I have had to chose which I am willing to live with: the sick feeling of blood pressure that is high enough to worry me about having a stroke OR being emotionally out of control. My anxiety levels are also uncontrolled, but that’s been an ongoing issue for a while. This doesn’t make them “worse”, just makes them more visible. I cry at the drop of a hat. Or a door squeak. Or any other small insignificant thing. It’s annoying, to say the least.
But it’s not forever, however it plays out. And so I just try to get through my day moment by moment. If I were trying to plan much further out in time than the next immediate future, I would be so freaked out as to become paralyzed. So I know what I’m talking about when I tell you, “Even just a minute is more than nothing.”. I try not to do “nothing”. I sympathize and empathize and totally understand the freaking out (or giving up) and I’m hugging you and telling you…you can do this. For just a minute, for just a moment. And another. And another. Until you look up and realize that it’s been an hour, a day, a week of doing.
You are not alone — even outside of your own head! <grin>
Look out, LLBean. Sarah is here and it’s gonna be glorious!
Peace, blessings and lots of hugs.