Thank you for your words! I have been in some sort of pain pretty much all of my life — but I was 49 years old before I had a diagnosis that I more or less presented to my doctor, who said agreed, but had waited for me to say it — fibromyalgia — because so many people think it’s not a “real” disease.
Since then, with further testing and imaging, I have had almost 20 more diagnoses added to that. The most recently added is probably now the most important as far as talking about pain and disability. I have ankylosing spondylosis, which is bone spurs associated with degenerative osteoarthritis. (Which I have almost assuredly had my entire life, to some degree, since I have had bone pain for as long as I can remember, definitely back to when I was a teenager.) Because it’s a very specific diagnosis of physical damage, it gets believed and assigned a more realistic priority for medications and treatment than the more-or-less “self-reported” signs of fibro.
I receive my healthcare through the Veterans Administration. I have to tell you that the equality of treatment I receive is very comparable to the overall expectations of equality in the military — it is appreciably better than what is usual in the “civilian” world. I guess if a woman was in the military, she’s passed some sort of test for being believed when she says she’s in pain. I dunno, whatever. I just know that the staff at my local clinic works very hard to make sure that I am properly medicated and have all of the equipment I need to have a decent quality of life.
It’s important that your article is read — especially by medical professionals who are guilty of this neglect for care — but while we’re not trying to sensationalize the words you’re sharing, it does need to be stressed that this failure to respond properly can and does lead directly to women DYING. It’s not just about hours of untreated pain…which is wrong, wrong, wrong!! It’s also about worse outcomes, longer recovery times because treatment was so delayed, collateral damage to other body parts, permanent damage and death.
Women *may* feel pain more than men — but when men feel pain, they tend to self medicate. And because they delay seeking treatment, they are also having those same issues of worse outcomes and etc. This is a no-win situation. I’d also say that men self-medicate because they don’t want to be perceived as being “womanly” (aka, “being a pussy” or “a whining bitch” or any of a number of sexist remarks)…a man can “take the pain”. So that horrible and pervasive idea that women are over-emphasizing the pain of a paper cut into appendicitis (so to speak) affects not only them, but carries a stigma that prevents men from seeking appropriate medical help when the body signals that something is wrong — through pain.
Do women really feel MORE pain? Or are they just more in tune with their bodies (given the obvious role of reproduction and menstruation) and recognize the pain while it’s still a relatively small hammer — and not leaving it to become a 50 pound sledge before seeking treatment? Until we can accurately test the pain nerves themselves for metered response…we just have to believe someone when they say they hurt.
In the meantime, here’s my advice for men and women both: if you are in pain, especially a “new” pain (one you’ve never had before), you need to seek out why you hurt. If the pain and associated symptoms (vomiting, fainting, blood gushing out of you) are significant enough to interfere with your daily routine, you need to seek out medical help. If it’s acute enough that you need to see someone NOW, go to the ER. Go straight to the ER. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. The best thing you can do for yourself is have someone go with you, someone who will advocate for you, who will argue with the doctors and the nurses, who will demand explanations of what’s being done — and why it’s being done. Who will badger the staff into providing appropriate medication as necessary, understanding that the doctors should have the knowledge to be able to give out medication that is appropriate!
Also very important: educate yourself about basic first aid. Take CPR if you can. Learn what makes the difference between a 24 hour stomach flu (often food poisoning and not actually a flu…) and intractable vomiting which can lead to dehydration and death. Bleeding is bad. Spurting (pumping) bleeding is quickly lethal. A fever is a problem; a prolonged fever over 104 will cook your brain and kill you. And if you have no other medical knowledge, if your body feels like you’re dying, take it seriously until someone with the training can explain it — and treat it — when you get to the ER.
First and foremost, we are humans, with frail human bodies. Which bathroom we use has nothing to do with needing timely, appropriate and meaningful treatment for pain, whatever its original source. Don’t let anyone else tell you differently.