She’s Not Coming Back Bro”:….Dealing With That Post Relationship Hurt

by @KortKobane

It’s a wrap. Now lets just accept the fact that its over, so the next person can get the best “you” possible. Yes, break ups suck. You’re miserable regardless of whose fault it was, or even it was a mutual agreement of irreconcilable differences, the past is the past. She’s not coming back bro, here’s to getting over it and getting your life back. So we’re finally past the phase in the break up where you may have still been in contact, few arguments here and there, even flirted with the idea of getting back together. Might have even gone on a few dates to see if you can relight that fire that once made your faces glow each others eyes. But after a few texts left on read, they are having the time of the their life on snap chat, and you might have even seen them with a new boo on Instagram, its finally hit home that they aren’t yours anymore and its time to get over it and move on. Once you accept the fact that this relationship has finally reached its full potential, thats the first step in beginning a journey of getting back to you and becoming a better person for the next person who denies to share the valued time with you.

If, you haven’t already, you gotta stop trying. Maybe some where down the road, you guys will see each other and be you’ll able to get some closure. But for now, you need to leave any and every aspect of this relationship alone. Stop contacting each other. Let it the fuck go. They have obviously moved on and now you need to. Theres nothing worse than begging to see someone, who clearly doesn’t want to see you. This only creates a feeling of resentment and anger towards them. They have found happiness outside of you. Accept that and find happiness outside of them and create a happiness for yourself that doesn’t include them

Stop trying to hold on to something that someone else has clearly let go of. If it helps, delete those pics off Instagram, block them so you don’t have to see them and deal with the subtle feeling of spite when you see them enjoying themselves. This will only prevent you from moving on. Because every time you see them post or tweet, you’re gooing to feel like this is an intentional ploy or a ‘sub” aimed at you. When in real life they haven’t given you any thought. They are having fun and enjoying being single. So now, you should too.

You need to take this time find out what makes you happy, and stop trying to find happiness in her and other people. This is the perfect time for you to discover who you are again. Be alone. Theres nothing wrong with finding out who you are and allowing the healthy things that you put on the back burner to be prevalent again. Start working out, go out and enjoy yourself. Pick up a new hobby. Fall in love with yourself, because if you don’t know how to occupy yourself when you are alone, you’ll do nothing but become a slave to your’e own loneliness. You wont know how to have fun by yourself. Most importantly, this period of being alone is for you to cherish yourself and becoming a better person for the next person you date. If you don’t have a life, and you make them your life, you’re only happiness will come from them. What happens when you need to make yourself happy because they can’t and they are off doing things that make them happy? Exactly, don’t allow yourself to be reliant on someone else for happiness.

Be alone for a while. Don’t date. Enjoy being the only person you care about for a while. It’s a fucked up thing to say, but, be selfish. Its not a bad thing to get familiar with yourself again. You’ll know when you’re ready to get back out there, but for now just enjoy you.

Leave the baggage where it is. Don’t take the old into anything new. Once you start dating again, one of the biggest turn offs is talking about an ex. No one wants to hear that shit. No one wants to hear you’re groveling of how great or sour things were or went with the last person you were with. Going down that road only leads the person you are currently dating to believe you aren’t over your past. The Ex talk only creates insecurities in the present and can even lead you’re new significant other to think that you’re now comparing them. Leave the past where it is, in the past. You are where you are for a reason and its time to start make new memories.

Lastly, do things different. Obviously what ever you did in your past relationship didn’t work, so switch up your game. Create new standards for what you want in a relationship, remember to incorporate the things that make you happy, be honest about your feelings, and if you aren’t ready, don’t force anything. This is about you getting your happiness back and creating a better you for the next person.