A Change of Diet — Flash Fiction from Inside Men’s Shorts — Adult Content

A Change of Diet

Two old mates catching up after a few years; late thirties; suits; sitting at a bar having a few beers.

One says to the other, “What have you learned from all of the business travel that you do?”

“Well, I have learned not to leave incriminating evidence in my hotel room, because you never know what’s going to happen.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was up in Sydney a few years ago and got knocked down by a car. I woke up in intensive care with a brain injury. My missus had to come up and organise to get me home. She moved into my hotel room.”

“I remember that. You were off work for ages. What did she find?”

“A pair of ladies panties.”

“She might have thought they were hers and found it romantic.”

“I doubt it. They would have needed to stitch four pairs of these together to get a chance of fitting her fat arse. Besides, she never wore split crotch panties.”

“I see. What happened?”

“She never said anything about it but she started to scrutinise everything I did. She read my e-mails and checked my phone messages. It all became too much.”

“I can imagine.”

“A few months later, I came out and the shit hit the fan. The bitch took me for everything. She blamed the accident. She said that brain damage had turned me gay.”

“I haven’t heard that one before.”

“I never had the heart to tell her that the panties belonged to a transvestite named Ted that I’d picked up in a gay bar in the Cross.”

They both laugh and contemplate their beers.

“What about you? I hear you work a lot in Asia these days. How do you find the change of diet?”

“I love it. You are what you eat you know. You can taste the difference!” He winks. “Are you in a relationship now?”

“Not me, mate. Once bitten, you know what I mean.”

“You should visit Thailand. The lady boys there are beyond belief.”

“Maybe I will. Isn’t it great that two old mates can be so open about such things?”

“You know that except for a few beers, I drink pineapple juice all the time these days. It makes your cum taste so sweet.”

“Have you heard there’s a new glory hole down at the Whip and Feather?”

“Yes, I was down there on Wednesday.”

“Eh, me too. I sucked off a guy and his cum was the sweetest I ever tasted. Oh, what time were you there?

“About seven.”

There is a long silence. “They say it’s going to rain on the weekend.”

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