I have some thoughts on Benjamin Hardy’s post, 30 Behaviors That Will Make You Unstoppable. If you haven’t read it, it’s too late, because he deleted it. Thanks, Ben.
The post got me a bit riled because it hit on a lot of advice I’ve already found to be useful, but it was presented without the nuance required to not actually let such advice drive you into the ground.
I’ll just go through the 30 things. It’s gonna be confusing, in places, because the original post has vanished.
Behavior 1: Don’t Think, Know and Act
My reaction: Hardy is advising to act on instinct, and to trust completely in your intuition. I love the nugget here to cultivate complete trust in yourself. That’s what I’m going to take away from this one. We do need to factor in information that may be counterintuitive, though, because humans have cognitive biases.
Acting solely based on intuition puts you at the mercy of cognitive bias. If you’re an entrepreneur, it could cause you to replace knowing your customer with your own intuition, making your product a failure. If you’re a hiring manager, it could keep you traveling down the same track that has kept your company from being diverse, thus far.
So, I’m going to go with an old journalism adage here and urge you to trust, but verify.
Behavior 2: Always Be Prepared So You Have the Freedom to Act On Instinct
My reaction: Yes! Being knowledgeable and excellent at what you do will inform your instinct. You’ll see a solution that less experienced people can’t see, or you’ll see it institutionally when they have to spend precious time and money to work toward it.
Behavior 3: Don’t Be Motivated By Money Or Anything External
My reaction: This falls under the category of “Your Mileage May Vary,” or more bluntly, “That Might Be Easy for You to Say.” What if you don’t have anyone to fall back on if you can’t make rent or buy food?
I suspect Hardy is encouraging us to go deeper than material motivations, not disregard them. I’m starting this argument here, though, because there are several items in his list that assume some physical security, I think, that many people don’t have. There’s a theme here of personal responsibility and risk-taking, and there are more serious consequences and barriers for some when it comes to those things.
Behavior 4: Never Be Satisfied
My reaction: Who is Tim Grover? I am going to look this dude up, for sure. Anyway, this Type A advice, if taken without caveat, is a fast road to alienating others and burning yourself out. Do we need *some* people to never be satisfied? I suspect we do. Do *you* need to never be satisfied? That is a great question to ask yourself. Maybe put this list down and go think about it.
I can tell you if you don’t stop and celebrate on your way up, and stop to congratulate and relax with the people climbing with you, you will have problems. I know Hardy talks about relaxation and time outs further down in his list. This item, though, makes me stop and look back at the whole premise of the post — how to be unstoppable. What if you’re not going up? What if you’re going sideways, or around, or weaving a network of related ideas and people?
I don’t think one needs a constant sense of dissatisfaction, always pushing further, to be unstoppable. What is unstoppable? If you want to achieve something, you overcome the obstacles? Some people overcome obstacles by going around them gracefully, some by outworking the obstacle, some by developing a method or technology to overcome it, or by uniting with people and transforming the obstacle into something else. And sometimes people overcome obstacles by being happy where they are. Or by choosing a different goal. Or by waiting.
If you have to wait, how high can you let the fire burn inside you while you wait without it eating you up? If you decide to set it aside for another flame, are you a failure?
This could be another way of saying the same thing as Hardy’s advice, perhaps. This topic is too dense, though, and too loaded, to not ask ourselves which view through the prism is our own.
Behavior 5: Always Be In Control
My reaction: I like the advice to be aware of the difference between instinct and impulse. I’m not sure they’re biologically distinct, but if we’re equating instinct with intuition that’s based on expertise and our own positive choices, I’m down with this. This is a useful caveat for some of the other items on the list, like number 1. I mean, a big chunk of this list could result in disaster without this one. With 30 things on the list, one could be tempted to skim and miss how key it is. Or if I wanted to truly absorb the lessons of such a comprehensive list, and I were implementing each lesson one by one, it might be days or weeks before I got to this one. I’m running out of steam just trying to write a post about all of them.
Behavior 6: Be True to Yourself
My reaction: Purge everything from your life that you hate. I’ve been a fan of this advice in every flavor I’ve seen it. Not immediately purging something that isn’t working for you is not *not* being true to yourself, though. First, you can learn from what you hate. Why do you hate it? How is it affecting you? Getting in like a scientist for a close look at that thorn in your side is a great way to make sure that when you cast it out, it’s gone for good. Not to mention that many, many people cannot afford to immediately cast aside a job or person on whom they are financially dependent. They’d be homeless, or sued for their debts, or judged for the gap in their resume more harshly than some other privileged folks.
Behavior 7: Never Let Off the Pressure
My reaction: This is not advice for being unstoppable, it’s a question on a quiz titled “Are You Type A?” If you have other ways of motivating yourself than constantly turning up the pressure, maybe don’t count yourself out yet.
Behavior 8: Don’t Be Afraid of the Consequences of Failure
My reaction: I like the Dan Sullivan quote here better than Harding’s urging to fly high without fear. Fear is information. Cultivating fearlessness is a powerful exercise. But for some, the consequences of failure are much greater than for others. Don’t be afraid to take this with a grain of salt.
Behavior 9: Don’t Compete with Others, Make Them Compete with You
My reaction: At this point, I have a guess about Hardy’s personality type. Look entirely within for inspiration? I’m going to peg him as an introvert. And together with all the other advice plus his confidence in being strategic, maybe an INTJ. I could be wrong, but it’s fun to guess.
Isn’t there a saying about the pioneers all having arrows in their backs? Fast-following is legit business strategy, isn’t it? A great artist knows who to steal from, no? Ignoring what is working in your field seems foolish, to me.
I am a fan of using competition very carefully. It’s more of a table saw than kindergarten scissors. But as an extrovert, I do use it.
Behavior 10: Never Stop Learning
My reaction: Yep, this is pretty solid.
Behavior 11: Success Isn’t Enough, It Only Increases the Pressure
My reaction: Ah-ha! A link to Tim Grover’s book, which I missed on my first readthrough. Is this affiliate content marketing? Neat-o.
Anyway, I think we’ve sufficiently covered this one, except to say, if I had a dollar for every time I read about someone being paralyzed by their fear of success, I could cater a lunch-and-learn for all of them.
Behavior 12: Don’t Get Crushed by Success
My reaction: Fascinating. When Hardy says “most people can’t handle success,” I don’t recognize the successful people I know in that. I do trust there is a nugget of truth in here, though. Incumbent politicians and incumbent market leaders (as in, companies) come to mind.
As for individuals, when you work extra hard in the beginning, you do get to enjoy having some things come more easily — jobs, trust, leadership roles and promotions, having your voice heard. Don’t squander it. Do enjoy it. Do use it to slow down for family or to rest, if you need to. Do we need people who push further, who thrive on their professional life, rather than their personal life? I think so. But people not being satisfied with $10 million, $100 million — that has caused us some problems, too. “There is no destination. Only when you’re finished.” Yeah, life’s a journey, they say. And then you die.
Behavior 13: Completely Own It When You Screw Up
My reaction: When I was in Girl Scouts, they told me a scout always admits when she is wrong. When I was in design school, they told me never to apologize. If there’s a typo, if the image in the client presentation is backwards — that’s on purpose. I’m not contradicting Hardy, here. I’m saying that you can think creatively about what is and isn’t a mistake. And there’s a time and a place for pointing out your mistakes. There are times when the apology is a bigger turnoff than the mistake.
Behavior 14: Let Your Work Speak for Itself
My reaction: I love the reminder to think about deep work vs. shallow work. And I’m gonna double down on my introvert guess about the author. “Talking is shallow. Anyone can do it.” Wrong. This devalues communication and teaching, at least the way I’m reading it.
Behavior 15: Always Work on Your Mental Strength
My reaction: Yes, but with rest. I’ve seen and felt what happens when you push yourself to be *always* be uncomfortable. What about the other people in your life? Are you dragging them along into your zone of discomfort? (Not “you” specifically, Mr. Hardy. I mean the rhetorical “you.” Thank you for writing such an evocative post. The thank you is for you you, Mr. Hardy.)
Behavior 16: Confidence is Your Greatest Asset
My reaction: The importance of confidence is no joke. Lack of confidence is a fundamental problem, and addressing it is an immediate priority when it comes up for me. It puts a blanket of difficulty and tension over everything else. Conversely, having confidence is like having a magic switch that makes everything work better and feel better.
Behavior 18: Let Things Go, but Never Forget
My reaction: I’m going to start skipping list items. Forgiveness: I am down with doing a selfish version of it, if you need to. Holding on to pain can be so damaging. Does it need to be immediate, as Hardy advises? Hell no. You deal with that pain when you’re ready. Or never. Obligation to forgive is baggage, too. Examining exactly how you were wronged — learning from it — can take time and resources. Maybe you don’t have the time or space to deal with trauma right now. Do it when you’re ready.
Behavior 25: Think and Act 10x
My reaction: Neat. I’ve heard this advice before. What I have run up against in the past is time it takes to get my bills paid. OK, have less bills. My job takes X hours per week. OK, get creative about work. Got it, done. Just, this feels like all the sales calls I used to sit in when I was an MLM consultant. How many people is this working for? How much time and money do you have to dedicate toward shooting for the moon until your electric gets shut off? Me, if my electric gets shut off, I’ll go to my sister’s. (I hope she isn’t reading this.) But me not having a million-dollar business (yet) only has so much much to do with Mr. Hardy’s definition of unstoppable. Or maybe the definition *is* what’s critical. I know I plan to smile a lot about my success way before the million-dollar mark.
Behavior 30: Don’t Make Exceptions
My reaction: I don’t find the example of Zig Ziglar going around sleep deprived to be convincing. So, if Ziglar had first decided that he felt better with 3 hours of sleep, then four, then a full eight — that would be dangerous? But maybe sleep is a bad example for me, since I find it so critical. (Silly old human.)
Seriously, though. Ignoring your body is a shortcut to burnout and injury. Your body is full of clues about what you hate, speaking of being true to yourself. Exceptions are experiments.
Should you be consistent in the quality of work you deliver? Yes. And that’s not as easy as me typing that you should do it; especially if you’re coordinating a large group in order to produce that work. If you’re experienced at what you do, you already know that.
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Well, I gotta get back to work. In summary, I’m grateful for this reminder to be biased toward action, to leap sooner with less fear (because I *don’t* have kids, because I *do* have a safety net) and for the opposing responses it triggered for me. Hope you had fun.
