Me: Ay bruh

Me:Ay whats good fam

Me:Ima tell you a story my guy,

Me: about what? don’t i already know it because i’m you?

Me:bruh…..Shut up

Me: Jeez, aight…..proceed.

Me:Aight so, think of yourself standing in front of a pathway, with two paths

Me:So you mean a crossroads?

Me: …yes

Me:why didn’t you say that you bitchass

Me:shut up

Me:anyway, youre looking down both these paths, as far as you can see, and both of them look pretty litty. Down one you see, children and happiness and laughter. Down the other you see a wife and fame and depression.

Me:Wait, don’t children come with happiness and wives?

Me:Nah, yo wife dead and children suck, you damn well know that.

Me: So yea,which one would you pick?

Me: well, the one with fame and depression since we’ve already lived through depression and it didn’t do shit BOOOOOOOOOIIIIII

Me: Why would you want fame? It’s useless, it doesn’t mean anything, so why not live lowkey?

Me:i have no idea, fame just seems cool as fuck bro, to have people pay attention to every little thing you do, and then proceed to copy you? That’d be having like a million lil brothers.


Me:bruh you cant say that shit anymore, its 2017, someone gunna come kick your asshole in

Me:whatever man nothing matters.


Me: What

Me: So why do you relate to Bojack so much?

Me:Idk, like im not an alcoholic but i think ive reached an epiphany in my young life by watching this show religiously.

Drinking to have a good time and momentarily forget your woes. Is very nice. I also live for events now. Like when there’s no party coming up I don’t know why I’m alive….i’m like “yo man when’s the next party, fiending for it like some sort of addict”

Me: at least this time Rocket Girl is coming!

Me: did you even explain to them who Rocket girl, Catwoman, and Queen B are??

Me: No….

Me: Well you should.

Me: Dang aight fam relax

Me: So, there are


Me: lemme tell u another story. Its about a boy whole walking thru this like eternally dark super long, super tight hallway and to his left and right there are portals playin memories in his mind, from the beginning to the end of his life but he’s somewhere in the middle. He sees his future children and wife, but their faces are blurry and hazy. He sees his time, age and place of death but he cant remember even though hes staring right at it.

He’s conscious but hes not, hes alive but he’s dead

Me: So he’s in Limbo?

Me: nah thats a game bro

Me:No as is the place inbetween life and death

Me: Isn’t that purgatory?

Me: No that’s that movie with Keanue Reeves

Me: No you dumbass, it’s a waiting room to get into heaven or hell

Me: Ohhhhhh

Me: stop wit the pop culture refrences smh

Me: i can’t its how i relate to things that are too real

Me: Dang where’s my Ramona Flowers bro, like, outta the fuckin 7 billion people on this planet, there’s no girl like that, who actually likes you or is actually attractive LOL its never both. They’re either ugly and you cant fuck wit that or they’re just not interested in you.

Me: C’est la vie

Me: I think my favorite quote from Rick and Morty is in Ep 1 of Season 2 is

“ We’re exactly like a man capable of sustaining a platonic friendship with an attractive female co-worker. We’re entirely hypothetical.”

This quote comes from an episode where, Morty and his sister, Summer are uncertain about certain aspects in their lives, due to freezing time,(They froze time because they threw and interplanetary party and their parents were about to come home, and then Rick froze time for 6 months so they could clean up) when they become uncertain, it fucks up the timeline and creates a divergence, one where they made a certain choice and one where the didn’t. That’s where the quote comes from. Either way it makes me laugh so fucking hard every time i read it or hear rick say it. Because it’s true.

At least i believe that, i don’t think, at least at my age, that anyone can withstand that. We have too many hormones and are too naive and unintelligent to make smart decisions. We act on our baser instincts and no one, no matter how “woke” they are is gunna turn down the chance to fuck their super hot “platonic” female friend. If they’re a boy and they’re straight, most definitely that boy will be smashing. i will tell you that, and if the dude says he wouldn't, he’s LYING.

The only possible way that boy is NOT smashing is if he’s known that girl like his little sister, like he grew up with her or some shit, other than that, if they’re the same age, and she lookin THICC

that boy is going in, WIT RECKLESS ABANDON MY FRIEND.