Halloween Costumes Ideas
You may find yourself on this Halloween day with indecision as to how you will present your alter-ego to the public. You’ve got the blues, and no alter-ego worth presenting to the public. Let me help you.
Roomful of Reporters
This is the perfect costume for a group of friends who are still costume-undecided. Simply enter a room together, and raise your hands until someone calls on you individually to ask questions. Ask particularly challenging and polarizing questions, no fluff — play hardball! If you don’t know the individual fielding the questions, just spitball with questions about scandals (coal ash dumps, extramarital affairs, etc.) and see what sticks.
Use your best judgement, and pay attention to questions answered so you’re not caught in the embarrassing situation of asking a question that’s already been answered. When the subject says No more questions! and exits the room, that’s your cue to throw everything you’ve got. Don’t even bother raising your hand and waiting on them to call on you — they won’t. Just go ahead and shout over everyone else too.
Pay attention: the costume is a Pet Rock, as in a single rock. Don’t glue pet rocks together and wear them. That would be a very heavy costume, and people would mistake you for a dumb pile of rocks, or a cairn at best.
What value is there in a Pet Rock costume? If you have to ask, then you shouldn’t be a Pet Rock for Halloween. The Pet Rock has riches beyond it’s smooth, dull gray facade. Crack it open and look inside; you’ll find more dull gray, and it feels a lot like the outside. Even still, the intrinsic value of a Pet Rock comes with time spent. Eat with it, sleep with it, live with it. It will tell you its secrets. You may be rewarded such that you utter the same words as Pet Rock pioneer Gary Dahl, as he said of his Pet Rock advocacy in 1988, “Sometimes I look back and wonder if my life wouldn’t have been simpler if I hadn’t done it.”
Black Mirror* aka Smart Phone
You’re the most essential part of life in the tenties. The junction of the very best modern technology and design can offer (unless you’re a couple versions behind the latest-greatest, then you’re just junk), you augment everyday life and democratize communication and information systems. Show up to a Halloween party and uselessly stare back at curious individuals.
All they see is the opaque visage of your inactive screen. Are you on lock-mode? Is your screen brightness turned down? Is your battery dead? You’re so mysterious. Perhaps you serve as a statement on power-politics and human control of AI, or — surprise! — you betray human kind, turning on your fellow party guests and kicking off the singularity by hijacking the playlist.
If your costume gets dinged up and dirty (maybe you trip and fall because you’re clumsy, or maybe you showed up to a dog-friendly party and 120-lbs. Fido wasn’t happy about being dressed like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and took his canine frustrations on his own reflection in your costume), you can salvage it into a cyberpunk narrative where humans have evolved into giant smartphones and you’re simply one of the older, dirtier ones. If all else fails, just ask to queue up Daft Punk in the playlist.
*=I took this name from the television series Black Mirror
About the author
I love sharing fascinating ideas, new and old. When I’m not busy enjoying life as a newlywed or designing and building web applications, you can find me playing electric bass at church or trying new restaurants. Recommend, subscribe, comment, and share. Let me know if there’s something I can write about that would help you. Thanks for reading!