Catherine Lucas Of course bad things happen in life.
Out of the 98 doctors trying to help me survive my crazy health battle, most of them tell me to be positive and although our culture prides on that being the key to happiness, I think it misses the whole point.
When we suppress our negative experiences and paint them over with a smile, we literally kill part of ourselves.
How can we every be truly happy if we can never let ourselves be down?
How can we say we are authentic if we force part of our human experience to be stuffed inside rather than allow ourselves to be who we are in each passing moment?
I don’t like fake people and ironically those people who tell me how amazing their lives are or post epic pictures on Facebook with long descriptions on how happy they are, are actually pretty miserable. When given the opportunity to complain to someone the trust, they literally emotionally puke all of the suppressed things they stuffed away.
I don’t disagree that a positive outlook is beneficial, but all the “dark stuff” actually has biological, evolutionary, and psychological benefits too.
Just cause you feel bad, doesn’t mean your life is bad. Just cause something has gone wrong in your life, doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.
And that’s the problem with our “positive” culture. When people feel negative or something bad happens, they feel behind, they feel inadequate. By telling people to always be positive, we never let them be negative and when they want to authentically be negative, they can’t.
How shitty is that?
How shitty is it to have to hide part of who you are to be accepted?
Part of my own healing process was dropping my positive bullshit and falling into my negative. Ironically, the more I allow myself to be who I was, negative or positive in each moment, the happier I’ve become. The more I allowed myself to not hide my negative side, the more positive my outlook on life became.
Sometimes I think we spend too much time looking for things in life, such as the positive side or the “purpose” of things, rather than actually living life as it comes each passing moment.
I don’t disagree with your points, but I disagree that the glass half full is the key to lasting happiness. As the “positive self-help” culture has flourish, depression and loneliness have blossomed.
Coincidence? I think not.