Blameless

His mind was never the same — metal twisted, glass shattered, branches broken, and wheels in the air. Turning and turning, frozen, lifeless and animated, his eyes are blank as he blinks as he’s starring. “People you may know”, it suggests, and there I am Colton Rene Haltzer-Rodrigues. “Twenty four friends in common,” it says, so he clicks and I accept. “You have 343 friends,” it says. And like a slow drip God, guns, and girls trickle into my stream. I can’t imagine how different I must seem. We were never alot alike, not now, and not before. He was a surly champion, and I was crêpe suzette.

I post a picture, an outing with friends #fabulous #bestnightever #hashtag. “Brian has commented on your photo.” It was only a matter of time. “Philemon 2:32 Wherefore the lord is no bride, but a bridegroom; and if a bridegroom, then blameless in the eye of the lord.” I don’t respond.

I post an article about teen suicide, #gaylivesmatter #stopthehate #loveislove. “You have recieved a message from Brian.” And so the ranting begins. I try to ignore it. He makes it clear — I am being prayed for. In a moment of weakness, I lash back. I remind him of all he is not. I cut deep. I push hard. It hurts. “You have 342 friends,” it says. I skip another high school reunion.

His mind was never the same. Metal twisted, glass shattered, branches broken, and wheels in the air. Turning and turning, frozen, lifeless and animated, his eyes are blank as he blinks as he’s starring. “People you may know”, it suggests. And there I am, Colton Rene Haltzer-Rodrigues. “Twenty four friends in common,” it says. So he clicks and I accept. “You have 343 friends,” it says. And like a slow drip God, guns, and girls trickle into my stream.