Diary of a Desolate Man: All of My Aching Pieces
This week is a strange one. I am exercising for the first time in many years. Exercise really is a way of relieving the weight of the day’s trials and I hope that I do not fail to make it a habit. Running is what I love. I actually enjoy the burn of that practice and appreciate the small gains each day.
I am exercising in another way for the first time ever perhaps. The gains are the same and the burn is present. Inhibition is habit that I am beginning to cast aside. It is one of my more evolved adapations. I have always tempered my words too much, hesitated to take action for too long. Waiting for the world to give me something to hold onto before taking the plunge has been my way. Today I find myself more like the Spinozan Idealized Man (I would buy that if you never had the opportunity to enjoy the work). Freedom leaves a spearmint flavor in my soul. Yesterday I walked with a back bent by trepidation; today I stand a bit more upright as I cast aside that burden. Tomorrow I will test my legs a little more, and every new dawn will test my soul.
Also, to those silent watchers on: Do not fear for me. Desolation is often beautiful and from it comes great strength. Eventually it reduces one to ash or makes one indomintable. I will strive for the latter.
I suspect that some risks will bring defeat. I suspect that some will bring the solace that a man gains by no longer darkening his cowering corner. People will say that I walk too dangerously, but here is a toast to them and to me. Walk with me in the dangerous places instead of advising against it. We all can be a little more brave scaling the cliff with a companion lashed to our side. ~ Cheers