Businesslady’s approach of focusing on anxiety-management techniques is a good one. I’ve known (and been romantically involved with) a lot of anxiety-prone people. The truth is that bad jobs can bring out anxiety and worsen it when it’s already there, but they in themselves are frequently not the root cause of the problem. That isn’t to say that bad management should be excused or that finding another job might not be a good idea (Boo, needlessly stressful jobs! Boo!), but it’s important to remember that one job is not the only stressor in life. Because anxiety-making stuff happens throughout a person’s lifetime, it’s important to have ways of coping with stress, particularly if one’s negative response to anxiety causes trouble in that person’s relationships.
As Businesslady says, it’s okay to occasionally snap at someone or to make some other jerk move with loved ones. However, patterns of bad behavior can be a problem and should be addressed because otherwise, they’ll crop up again whenever particularly stressful situations arise.