6 Reasons Why Women Should Date Men Who Don’t Earn as Much
This article is brought to you by the coaching arm of Asia’s largest premier dating company, Lunch Actually Academy.
When it comes to dating, women all over the world are often encouraged to date someone who earns more. This is particularly true in Asian countries, where women are supposed to marry “up”.
While marrying for money may have been a woman’s best bet for financial security in the past, this is no longer true nowadays. Yet, “he must earn more than I do” is often a requirement that women still cite when looking for love.
Sadly, this results in a lot of unnecessary heartbreak and even unhappy marriages. We believe that the definition of marrying “well” should evolve beyond just marrying a man because he earns more.
A woman can still find great companionship EVEN with someone who doesn’t earn as much as she does. Here are 6 reasons why women should date men who don’t earn as much money as they do:
1. Money is not an indicator of his success
If you believe that money is an indicator of success, it may be time to fully consider why you think so. Perhaps you were culturally brought up to believe so, or it could be that your media consumption led you to believe that.
Yet in real life, more often than not, money is not an indicator of a person’s success at all. He could have inherited his parents’ hard-earned money, for one thing.
While “success” is measured differently for each person, to measure a man’s success by his earning power is as redundant as measuring a woman’s success by her ability to cook.
For a woman to better measure a man’s “success” in life, it may be better to evaluate his values, beliefs, and actions in life, rather than his earning power.
2. Also, money is not an indicator of your relationship’s success
While living in poverty is definitely a major stress contribution for any relationship, having an abundance of money is not a guarantee of a successful relationship either.
We’ve been taught that we should desire to be richer, to want bigger houses, and so on and so forth.
However, all these “wants” will only just give unnecessary stress, and will never feel “enough”. It is better to consider what you truly need; sometimes, enjoying the simple things in life together can bring the best sense of contentment, more than any amount of money can.
If you rely on materialistic things like money to be the foundation of your relationship, what happens when the money goes away? Will your compatibility and similarity in values make up for it?
3. Traditional gender expectations do not work in today’s settings
Women used to need to marry someone who earned more for financial security. Nowadays, with more women joining the workforce, it will only limit their dating pool if they only insist on dating a man who earns more.
If a woman has a high salary due to her job position, it will be hard to specifically find someone who earns even more with each passing year.
Don’t make the dating game harder by still believing in traditional gender expectations. In fact, gender expectations should not exist at all, and especially in love.
4. His character matters more than his earning power
“Is he kind? Is he honest? Is he polite to waiters and retail staff? Does he care for you? Does he see and want to make a future with you?”
These are the kind of questions a woman should consider in a love interest, rather than his earning power. A man who throws his wealth about and uses it as a reason to demean others, perhaps even the woman he’s dating, is not a desirable man.
Instead of using money as an indicator of his character, it will be healthier to assess if he is a hardworking person, someone you can rely on, someone who can make you feel secure and happy even if the money is out of the picture.
5. Sharing the same financial values is more important
Even if a man earns a lot of money, it is worth taking a look at his financial values. For example, he may the kind of person who will spend a lot of money on trivial things as he can afford to. This may be fine for one woman, but not for another.
More often than not, a man who saves whatever he earns diligently and plots carefully for a future with The Right One may be more of a right fit, especially for women who would like to build a family together. Making sure that financial values align are important to a relationship’s success.
6. A perceived lack of income shouldn’t stop you from dating The Right One
Life has a funny way of introducing people to The Right One for them. Some people meet at a party they never intended to go to, some meet on a train, and some meet through dating services like Lunch Actually.
It doesn’t matter how two people in love meet, really, as long as they are compatible and serious about each other.
Likewise, it really shouldn’t matter if a man earns less than a woman. As long as they are both able to talk honestly about the future of their relationship and can see a future together, that should be all that matters.
In fact, just as there is nothing wrong with being a housewife, there is nothing wrong in dating a man who earns less (or even marrying a househusband). All that matters is a sustainable future with The Right One together… and you do not need a lot of money to do that.