If you thought finding a significant other was hard, wait until you start mom dating. Some mothers are lucky enough to have friends with children around the same age but for the rest of us, we are stuck dating moms. Now, I have been dating for almost four years so it’s gotten a bit easier but for awhile, the struggle was real.
Of all of the friends I have had for over ten years, I am the only one with children. This really put a strain on our friendships because our lives are so different now. While I love all of my friends, I needed to find some “mom friends”. Mom friends are friends you can flake on at the last minute because your child is still napping, who understand that a wild night out is now going to a late dinner AND sitting at the bar, who patiently wait while you correct a wild child mid-conversation. Mom friends just get certain things and have a lot of patience because they are in the thick of it with you.
One day I made the decision to make a conscious effort to meet mom friends. There are phases in mom dating just like with dating a significant other. The first is introductions. You have to come up with a reason to speak to her without coming off as a creeper. Usually something relating to children, but again, nothing creepy. If she responds and you have a great conversation, you move into the next phase, “asking her out”. Somehow in the midst of this conversation you need to get her number and invite her out with her children. You may get lucky and she suggests it, but you may have to awkwardly ask. For me, it’s always in the middle of the conversation or at the end when she is literally walking away (because I couldn’t figure out an appropriate way to ask). Be prepared for rejection because it does happen. It was incredibly awkward when one woman told me to find her on Facebook (while quickly walking away) without giving me her full name. It happens and just means it wasn’t meant to be.
After you exchange numbers, everything is much easier. You plan playdates, get to know each other, and if you really like them, “take them home to the family”, i.e. your significant other. You’ll know it’s love when you start planning things that include the entire family.
Some women will end up being lifelong friends, others will fizzle out and you’ll meet some interesting characters along the way.
One more thing…
If you’re more of an introvert, you could also use Peanut. This app is awesome. It’s like Tinder for moms. Upload pictures of you and your kids, add a bio, and find mothers like you in the area. You can swipe to meet or dismiss and if someone also wants to meet you, you will be matched and able to message!
Date on mamas!