How to Survive the Family Formals

When it comes to wedding photography, there are many things that our clients rightly (or wrongly) complain about.

Very high up on the list are complaints about the family formals.

Most often the complaints are about what you would call “mistakes of omission”. For example: “I specifically requested a shot of me and Aunt Bertha, and it’s missing!” or “where’s the shot of me, my parents and all my siblings?!”

When this happens it’s rarely the photographer’s fault. It is hard enough to photograph and pose the groupings without worrying about having all of the required people in them. In addition, Aunt Bertha might be off somewhere getting drunk and flirting with the bartender. You have zero control over whether or not she even shows up for family formal time!

There’s no reason to let this happen. Pre-empting these type of complaints is super easy. Just follow one simple rule:

NEVER touch the “shot list” for the formals.

That’s it — problem solved!

In practice, here’s how to do it.

Step 1: your contract

In your wedding photography agreement insert a paragraph titled “Family Formals”. Insert the following language:

Client agrees that the wedding photographer will not handle the shot list for family formals. The Client (Photographer recommends delegating this responsibility to a family member) will be responsible for “calling out” all of the groupings that they wish to have photographed. Photographer will take photographs of as many groupings as Client desires.

Step 2: the pre-wedding planning meeting

When you meet with your client (and maybe with their planner), remind them that they are responsible for handling the formal shot list and “calling out” all of the groupings. You might say something like this:

Let’s talk for a minute about the family formals. Who will be responsible for handling the shot list and calling out all of the groupings?

It’s as simple as that. If the client suggests in any way that you should be the one to do it, gently (but firmly) remind them that you won’t do it. Say this:

Honestly, it doesn’t make any sense for me to call out the groupings. After all, I don’t know what Uncle Bob even looks like! Things always work better when a family member who knows the people handle the list.

Lastly, say this:

I’ll take as many family formals as you like until you tell me that we’re done.

The clear implication here is that any “missing” shots are not your responsibility.

Step 3: at the wedding

Remember — do NOT touch the shot list! Don’t even LOOK at it! If someone — anyone — tries to put the list in your hands, pretend that it’s coated with a highly poisonous toxin. Say this:

Beatrice is calling out the groupings. I’m happy to shoot whatever group she calls out.

If the bride’s sister Beatrice misses a grouping, well, that’s unfortunate, but it had nothing to do with you. That was the Client’s responsibility.

When you follow these steps, everything will be above board and there will be no surprises. The Client will know what they need to do and everything will run more smoothly. And they’ll know that any “missed” shots are not the responsibility of the photographer.

Problem solved.