The New Parent’s Fucket List

Yum. Beige food for dinner again.

Right now, I have a nearly 7 month old, a nearly 5 year old, a husband who’s out of the house for 12 hours, 5 days a week, and I have a full time job. Aint nobody got time for that!

I give no apologies for the following things on my Fucket List. Do whatever it is you have to do (or not do!) to get through your days, weeks and years, because really, you NEED to retain your sanity for the sake of those around you. This post isn’t exclusive to new parents, it’s to any parents, because as I’m finding through the years, every stage of having kids is just as hard as the last!

1. Putting the drier on when it’s 30°C outside

Because sometimes you just don’t have any more surfaces or room on the line to hang odd socks, onesies and work shirts. And even if you did, sometimes you just cannot be bothered to hang yet more washing.

Related: 5 Ways To Find Time For Dating When You’re A Single Mum

2. Getting take away for dinner…again

Because sometimes you just can’t be arsed to move off your sofa, cook, serve and wash up after.

3. Wearing the same outfit for days

Because sometimes it’s too much effort to choose anything fresh. Besides, there’s febreeze!

4. Hiring a cleaner to do your dirty work

Because sometimes you would just rather spend time with your family than have to clean the bathroom on a Saturday.

6. Wearing yesterday’s make up…today

Because sometimes self-care goes out of the window, and that’s ok for today.

7. Not washing your hair for days

Because you rock a topknot, and that’s why dry shampoo was invented.

8. Cancelling something that really wasn’t worth your energy

Because sometimes it’s better to postpone something non-urgent, than to please someone else and make youself tired/ill/unhappy.

Related: The 14 Stages Of Being Late For School

9. Wearing what you slept in under your coat for the school run/appointment

Because sometimes you just don’t have time to do it all, and it’s either you looking less than your best or the kids going to school with a full tummy.

10. Not being intimate for ages

Because sometimes you just really would rather sleep.

11. Hardly ever shaving

Because sometimes you barely have enough time to wash, let alone shear your hedges…I mean legs.

12. Serving beige-coloured meals

Because there must be a vitamin or two in fish fingers, potato waffles, cereal or buttered bread…

13. Pouring yourself a wine

Because sometimes you need to take the edge off the day.

14. Taking the day off parenting

Because sometimes getting your kids looked after whilst you do something for yourself is so needed, and totally cool. That’s if you can get over the parent guilt to relax enough to enjoy your day.

15. Not putting up with other people’s cra

Because ain’t nobody got time for that!

If you’re a parent, your survival mode has been switched on (and will be on for a good few years), and it’s very normal to have to cut a few of the corners of life in order to feel like you’re winning. What’s on your Fucket List?

Originally published at on June 1, 2017.