An Apathetic 16-Year-Old’s View on Even More Social Media

An actual apathetic teen continues to tell all

In the wake of much opinion-sharing from actual teens about what they really think of social media, I recently interviewed my apathetic 16-year-old stepbrother to get his take. Here’s part one.

Whether or not he had much more to say, I had much more to ask, and thus the following ensued. Coming up: Google Plus ruined everything, MySpace is like SO old, and Reddit is… not for the faint of heart.

Ellie: Have you ever used YouNow?

D’Brickashaw: I don’t know what that is.

E: Have you ever used Meerkat?

D: No.

E: Have you ever used Periscope?

D: No.

E: Have you ever used YikYak?

D: No.

E: Do you know what YikYak is?

D: No.

E: How about Pinterest?

D: No.

E: You know what Pinterest is?

D: Nope.

E: What about LinkedIn?

D: Nope.

E: You know what it is?

D: Nope.

E: How about Google Plus?

D: Oh.

E: You ever use that? You know what it is?

D: I know what it is. I don’t have one.

E: Why don’t you have one?

D: Oh, because I find it pointless.

E: Why?

D: It just doesn’t make any sense. They kinda ruined YouTube and stuff, Google Plus.

E: They ruined YouTube?

D: Microsoft and stuff? Wait not Microsoft. They’re like the same company right?

E: Google, yeah.

D: They like changed the comments section so comments don’t always go through. And they changed how like, some people, the most liked comments go to the top, and the people who don’t get likes go to the bottom, so it’s hard for people to connect.

E: Huh. Okay. You know about Ello?

D: L. O.? Like, the letters L and O?

E: No, it’s like “Hello” without an H.

D: Oh, no.

E: You don’t know about Ello, okay, what about Flickr?

D: Nope.

E: What about Foursquare?

D: Never heard of it.

E: Swarm?

D: No.

E: What about Friendster?

D: Haha, no.

E: You don’t use Tinder.

D: No.

E: Of course not, let me answer that question for you, no. What about MySpace?

D: Those are still around?

E: Haha yeah!

D: What??

E: It’s really kind of for music now, weirdly.

D: Right. I don’t think I ever had one. But, I know how old they are. Like, they’re really old.

E: They are really so old. What like ten years or something? Blech. What about Soundcloud?

D: Oh I do use that!

E: Yeah? Just to listen to music?

D: Yeah, listen to music and stuff.

E: Do you post anything on Soundcloud?

D: Nah.

E: Do you comment and have conversations on Soundcloud? Or you just listen?

D: Just listen.

E: You use Spotify?

D: Nope.

E: What about Medium, you ever use Medium?

D: What is that?

E: Haha, okay.

D: I’m not gonna be able to help you, haha, I don’t, uh… social media.

E: What about Whatsapp?

D: Nope.

E: What about GroupMe?

D: Group Me?

E: Yeah.

D: Nah.

E: What about Plague?

D: Um. A lot of these things I have no idea what they are.

E: You don’t know what Plague is?

D: No.

E: What about Quora?

D: Nope.

E: You don’t know about Quora.

D: Mm-mm. I have no clue about any of these.

E: What about Reddit?

D: No. Well, I do know what Reddit is, there’s a lot of cool stuff on Reddit. My dad uses Reddit. I don’t use Reddit.

E: Do you know what kind of stuff your dad looks at on Reddit?

D: Gross pictures of like, people’s hands being ripped off or something. Like bodies exploding and stuff. It’s gross. This dude’s arm like broke and both bones were sticking through his arm. Somebody had a kitchen knife stuck in their skull and they walked it to the hospital. Walked it. Like it’s in his brain. In his head. People are stronger than people think people are. They are, though. Like, if you jumped off the top of this house, like, you’d probably… you’d probably be able to survive. If you landed the right way. Which is kind of amazing. That’s three stories in the air. Like if I jumped off a balcony. I’d break all my legs. All my legs, haha. Both of my legs. Maybe my back or something. But I’d be alive, probably. If I landed the right way.

E: So… that’s Reddit?

D: That’s Reddit. Reddit shows people doing stupid stuff, like and uh, like the aftermath, like people getting their faces ripped off, and stuff. Like for real like this dude got his hair stuck in a lathe and it ripped his head off and ripped his body into the lathe and it splattered all, it was disgusting, Dad was like, “You still wanna use the lathe with me? Wanna be more careful?” Cause it was real, cause there was like police tape, and… blech. My dad’s really weird. You should put that in the interview.

E: I will.

D: “D’Brickashaw’s dad is weird.” That’s going in the interview.

E: Yeah. Okay, if you could make your own social media platform, what would it be like?

D: Um, hmm. That’s a hard question. It wouldn’t be like Vine, where there’d be a time limit. It could be as long as you want. You could post pictures easy. You could talk to people easily. If you don’t want to post a picture, you don’t have to. Um… do I have to pick a name?

E: Yeah.

D: Oh. Let me look around the room and see if I can find something. Hmm. I don’t know. I can’t think of a name. Mix, or something, maybe?

E: Mix. That’s kinda nice.

D: Yeah cause it’s like a mix of everything. Like videos, pictures, or like just, like, sentences. Like, thoughts. And stuff.

E: Okay. Neat! Well, I covered all of the platforms that I wanted to cover. Any other concluding thoughts from an apathetic 16-year-old?

D: Um… stay in school?

E: Love it.

Thanks to my apathetic stepbrother “D’Brickashaw” for trying to care about something for a full twenty minutes.

And kudos to DeviantArtist rafiqelmansy for the cover art