A superficial round-up of mostly TV and makeup in 2015

Ehhhhhhh I won’t apologize.

The best very small life-altering thing I started using this year

Ok, hands down the best thing I started using this year is this silicone pocket that sticks to the back of your cell phone case and holds your ID and a couple cards. My dad gave this to me for Christmas 2014 after he got it for liike $1 from the impulse rack at Farm N Fleet. When I opened it, he said “I thought you could use it when you go clubbing” and I laughed and retold that totally endearing story 100 times because DAAAAAD! Then I put it on my phone for NYE and everything changed. PURSES ARE A SCAM INVENTED BY THE PATRIARCHY TO WEIGH US DOWN.

^That’s barely a joke.

The best new movie I saw this year

I liked Birdman so much. Plenty of people didn’t and that’s fine. I love live theater and Raymond Carver and monologues and magical realism. I want to write a movie like Birdman.

…the internet tells me that Birdman came out in 2014. Okay. Then Mad Max was my favorite. I saw it with Syd and felt like a loser driving my little Honda Fit home on our normal roads at a responsible speed. He rolled the window down and screamed WHAT A LOVELY DAY!! outside the Chili’s and then we stayed up late talking about all the characters because we were so wired.

The best makeup I started wearing this year

The Anastasia Bold Brows Kit in medium brown.

The best non-makeup beauty stuff I started using this year

Mario Badescu Drying Lotion WHHHHHAT EVEN, THIS STUFF IS MAGICAL. Put it on a zit. Put it on ten. Sleep with it on. It stinks. It works.

The best book I read this year

Syllabus by Lynda Barry changed my life. After reading it I started keeping a drawing diary in a cheap comp book and living by her theory that a drawing not being “good” or you/someone not liking it doesn’t erase or change the drawing. It doesn’t matter if it sucks! Draw something else!

Now I love drawing so so much and it’s a thing I actively pursue Purely for Fun, which — did you know that was an option???

The best podcast I listened to this year

Forever and ever I will know in my heart that You Big Dumb Idiot was an original and true gem and that at some point people will start to stumble through the archives on a very widespread scale and it will become a cult legend and will somehow force the word “idiot” into my obituary.

Another Round is the best podcast I started listening to this year. I also loved Limetown and The Message for radio-drama-type shows. I also listen to Baby Geniuses, Snap Judgment, Note to Self, Love + Radio, The Dinner Party Download, Reply All, Mystery Show, The Longest Shortest Time, Invisibilia, Death Sex & Money, My Brother My Brother and Me, and of course Comedy Bang Bang, whose three-episode best-of roundups at the end of each year are a reason to exist, this year being no exception.

The best service I started subscribing to this year

Tie between Rent the Runway and Spotify Premium. Caveats:

  • Every time I’ve used Rent the Runway so far, I’ve had to choose alternate dresses and/or jewelry at the last minute due to my original choices not being returned in time. BUT the customer service is incredible and they’ve always sent me SEVERAL other options in time, last time overnighting them to my hotel in Chicago. It sounds super bougie (oh, and it is) but I’d rather spend $50-$75 to treat myself to a great dress for one night than buy yet another disposable Forever 21 thing.
  • Spotify is leaving artists bereft and penniless, I know. I KNOW. EVERYTHING IS BAD. But uh, Discover Weekly??? So good.

OH and honorable mention goes to the ad-free Hulu option, which still feels like a luxury I will never ever deserve despite paying an extra $3 a month to absolutely deserve it.

Most dumb indulgent thing I started doing this year

Getting manicures. Nearly all my manis are knock-offs of whatever Caroline had last. I have acrylic nails and I get a fill-in about every two weeks. The place I go nicks my cuticles EVERY TIME but it’s close to my house and my office, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ *bleeds to death*.

This one was actually not a Caroline rip-off but was a rip-off from another Insta person

The best way I didn’t die this year

I started running again. This happens every four months or so, but this time it involves me finally getting over my fear of treadmills, so it’s sustainable for winter. Plus Larry goes to the gym six days a week, and pride is a great motivator.

The best piece of clothing I bought this year

The crew sweatshirt in “light grey marled” from Everlane.

2015 was the year Everlane and I fell in love. They are friends with the factories who make their shit and they run on a truly transparent model, plus they send cool Snapchats. When I wasn’t totally obsessively happy with a tshirt I got from them, they sent me another option on the house PLUS a $20 credit. I got a ribbed merino wool sweater for COMPLETELY FREE from them a couple weeks ago just because — holidays? Still unsure. But I wore that shit to my grandma’s house on Christmas Eve. That’s how gorge it is. EVERLANE, ILU. Second place is the tunic sweatshirt in straight-up grey marled. Tell em Lindsey Gates-Marled sent ya.

The best TV show I watched this year

Maybe season 1 of Fargo? This is tough.

I love TV, but a lot of the TV I watched this year comes with a big ol’ “but.” The second season of Review was great and hilarious and tragic but coincidentally too realistically violent for The Year of Rampant Actual Violence that was 2015, IMO. I like Nathan for You but can’t get rid of this annoying hunch that he preys on minorities and people who don’t speak English as a first language too often so they don’t fully understand what’s going on. I watched A TON of Seinfeld this year and it’s so so funny but some episodes are like criiiiiinge. I really really like Crazy Ex-Girlfriend but wish they’d decide whether they’re making a woman-positive show or not (whyyy does Josh’s girlfriend have to be the worst when they already addressed the cliche of framing a cute dude’s girlfriend as the worst??). ANTM is the literal worst and I feel like at some point Tyra bugged my brain to make me keep watching it, so I’m VERY GLAD this was the last season because now I will be freeeeeee. Drunk History makes me feel like I’m learning shit and I like seeing people’s homes/hotel rooms but I hate seeing people wasted and the latest season had Paul F. Tompkins in near-puke state, which honestly had me feeling so attacked.

Bob’s Burgers is the best and coziest, of course. The new KUWTK titles are perfect and I cry when Kourtney cries. I liked Difficult People a ton. Larry dared to walk in the room and start talking to me while I was watching the season finale of the new Project Runway and I reacted Very Strongly. I binged The Great British Bake-Off on the weekend of Syd’s birthday and went overboard on the cupcakes. IDK, guys. I’m looking through my Hulu history right now and realizing that my gf Courtney watches a lot of movies on my account. MOVIES! ON HULU! So now I can’t concentrate.

Overall Broad City is probably my favorite show and the best show. OH HOLY MOLY I almost forgot about W/ Bob and David, which is the best new show.

I also watched the first season of Married at First Sight while I was unemployed and it’s objectively perfect.

I started documenting every time a person said this on the show. They hit the p0int SO HARD, as if divorce isn’t in the realm of possibility for people who went on a reality show to get married to strangers.

The best phrase I started using this year

“I’m not gonna die on that hill.”

This phrase is cool because it indicates that you care, but that you also have and know your limits and can totally let things go for the sake of the bigger picture. How adult of you/me!

Things I’m gonna get into in 2016:

Miniatures and Korean skincare.