Do Yourself a Favor.
Today as I was just about to start working on this blogpost I found myself saying "do yourself a favor step outside before it gets dark outside."
It was Dusk and I hadn't spent any time outside in the daylight
I thought to myself “what a kind thing to say.” In a way, I was relieving myself from the responsibility of making this post in order to enjoy myself for a little bit.
“Do yourself a favor.”
What an interesting phrase.
It seems like it's only spoken to us by those who care about us the most or don't at all.
Phrases like this occupy a kind of grey area that can be used either positively or negatively depending on one's intentions.
At its very worst it's a way for people to spread negativity while still distancing themselves from the action.
It's usually a situation in which someone says something snide and vague like do yourself a favor and get a real job or something along those lines.
Why the unwarranted advice? Well one's intentions behind a statement like that almost always involve attacking you without taking the place of the aggressor.
It's actually a double whammy because as well as putting you down they put themselves in a place above you by giving you this unwarranted advice.
Phrases like these are really ignorant because there’s no way that one knows what’s best for an individual, yet often when people are put in a place of authority over others, actions like these occur.
The most likely people to say these things are authority figures like parents or cops or judges because the act of putting oneself above another whether it's in a structured situation or in everyday life breeds this sort of ignorance.
That's exactly what this behavior is. it's ignorant.
And even worse it lacks compassion. That lack of compassion disconnect us and therefore fuels further ignorance.
It doesn't even have to be someone else saying this to us, we can say it to ourselves.
I'm particularly vulnerable to this because I'm really hard on myself. Sometimes I find myself saying do yourself a favor and do something valuable with your time or stop being lazy.
The behavior is extremely unhealthy but luckily it can change with a simple mindset shift.
The way that these gray area phrases remove our egos from the negativity that we spread can also do the same with the positivity.
You can imagine someone stressing themselves out and having a friend telling him to do himself a favor and relax or something along those lines.
Using phrases like these this way or the way I did earlier today is probably the most compassionate form of advice because there is no agenda from the person giving the advice.
We can use these words to express that we only want what's best for the person we're speaking to.
This attributes a lot to the power of language and our ability to use it for better or worse.
I just find it fascinating that we have the power to change everything we communicate for the better.
And if we do it'll just be adding another brick to the wall of genuine kindness that we can build within ourselves.
And as I said before I truly believe that this connects us which is really the reason why we're all here.
To be connected to other people. :)