The Skill of Choice
“Some of us just weren’t ever given the permission to be decisive.”
It’s fucking hard to make decisions. Especially, when we care so much about the way our lives are to turn out; when we care so much about who we will become.
The awful part is that we often know the right decision which will lead us closer to living that life or becoming that person.
Some of us just weren’t ever given the permission to be decisive. That failure to be taught independent thinking is part of why we may expect others to make our decisions for us, leaving us in positions in life where we just stand still and hope for things to go our way.
Sometimes we try to circumvent the issue by following particular strategies that remove the responsibility of choices from ourselves.
Following religious dogma or creating that of our own in order to have a model of how we should make our decisions for the rest of our lives is incredibly tempting because we think this will remove our future dilemmas of choice for good.
This is almost irresistible to the growth mindset because on the surface, it seems so efficient. However, the truth is that we're always learning and our values are always changing, so the doctrines of behavior that we create must always also change too.
This creates deep unnecessary struggle and is the opposite of efficiency.
Choice is a skill that must be practiced in the moment and cannot be predetermined or automated.
Every choice gives us an opportunity to decide who we want to be in the moment. The amalgam of these choices ultimately shape our lives as a whole.
Don't forfeit this opportunity to your doctrines of the past or those of other institutions. If we build the skill of choices every moment we make them, then our ability to reach our full potential and live the lives we’d like to live will triumph over any dilemma.
Our skills of choice can, in the end, be so great that even the toughest decisions may be made with next to no struggle at all.