Alone with my thoughts

Its a Friday night and I’m drinking Modelo beer by myself at the kitchen counter. I feel exhausted. Its been a long week with doing homework and studying for quizzes and exams. I think it’s been almost 3 weeks since the semester started. I’d like to list some of the things that have happened.


  1. I’m learning how to speak and write in Japanese

Currently I’m taking a 101 class with Harasaki sensei. I can read Hiragana now with pretty good accuracy. My reading speed is yet slow however I think that can improve with time and practice. My appreciation for writing in Korean and English increase as I learn to write in Japanese. I also notice many similar structures and words from the Korean language when I study Japanese. I constantly get out of my comfort zone to learn more and more. Its the most fun class out of all my classes. Frankly, I study for this class the most.

2. I failed my first linear algebra quiz

It surprised me and saddened me. I studied linear algebra since the summer with Mr. Endo. I genuinely like this math subject and am passionate about it. Somehow I lost a lot of points. I won’t let this discourage me. I will get the quiz back on Monday. I’m going to go to Office Hours as I usually do, and won’t leave until I understand what I did wrong. I will hope and work hard to get a better grade on the second quiz.

3. I asked a girl out and got rejected

I confessed my feelings for a girl whom I’ve known for a year. I first met her in Calculus I. She can’t commit to be in a relationship with me because she said she is too busy. I know. She is one of the busiest, most hardworking people I know. She might be even the most hardworking person I know at Rutgers. I was honestly saddened by the rejection for short time. I moved on quickly though and talked to other girls. I realize that I too am too busy for a relationship. I want to be selfish with myself and learn to enjoy my single company as long as I can, because this won’t last. Thinking like this brings me peace, because I do need to focus on my academics fiercely. One thing is for sure, rejection doesn’t hurt as much as it used to before.

4. I like the C language

I am not a great programmer. I think I’m average at best. I first learned how to code in Java. During the summer I learned Ruby and Ruby on Rails. This is the first fall I’m learning a systems programming language, namely C. Its a beautiful language in my honest, inexperienced opinion. Its simple. And powerful. I think I understand more about programming because of its simplicity. That’s not to say its easy. Oh, no. I have to work on a project that’s due next Thursday. I’ll be devoting a lot of my time to it this weekend. I’m looking forward to it though. I have a pretty clear idea of how to write it.

5. Networking > Gpa

I felt strongly about this since I left college to pursue music. I must not forget this. Because when I am in school, I am sometimes powerless but to focus on my grades. Grades are important, however I don’t think it doesn’t shield you too much in the real world. When I talked with many HR people at the career fair at Rutgers, I experienced the importance of communicating. I made a list from this event and plan to apply for many internships for next summer.

I can keep digging for more. This satisfies my list for now. Peace.

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