Do You Suffer From Stack Up-Itis?
How many times has this happened to you?Getting ready to go to an event, you look the mirror and you declare, “I look good!!” You feel happy.Fast forward to the event, and suddenly this feeling of better than ok-ness is replaced with something else, I’m not as good as-ness.How did that happen? Walking out the door feeling great, walking into the event and all of a sudden you turn into Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator…scanning, scanning until you’ve exhausted every corner of the room on the quest to gather intel for your secret mission.
I was at the beach this weekend and I caught myself Arnolding. Clic-clic-clic-clic as my head spins around collecting data for the big stack up:
- Clic-20-year-old in string bikini-Ugh, I should have worn my one-piece.
- Clic-30-year-old with award winning implant art-aghhh need to tie my bathing suit top string so tight that it causes deep crevices in the back of my neck just to get a little hoist up.
- Clic-18-year-old runs by without one bump or indent or evidence of cellulite anywhere-yech I knew I should have pulled and duck taped my thigh skin under my suit.
I know that I’m not alone. You’ve had these thoughts too, or some variation of them. We do it without thinking. Its like a computer virus working secretly in the background and like a virus it slows us down and diverts us from living the life we are meant to live.As we age, our skill level increases playing Stack Up-itis. We’ve been doing it so long, it becomes such a habit and we get better at it or at least we create more opportunity to do it more often.What would happen if we removed the Stack Up chip from our brains, if we no longer had the capability to compare ourselves to others? All that’s left is us and our experience of freedom. Imagine going to the beach in your favourite bathing suit, playing in the water, hitting the beach volleyball court and never, not ever, thinking a single thought about your body compared to someone else?Shameless Aging is removing the chip. It’s minding your mind which is the secret sauce to an amazing experience of aging. Stack Up-itis is a game you can never win. You might feel victory a time or two but the odds are against you. So, why do it? When I caught myself Arnolding at the beach, I stopped in under a minute and the rest of my day was fabulous. It could have been a disaster.
So how do you stop? It’s easy AND it takes discipline. The dreaded D word and while I’m at it I’m throwing in the dreaded R word-Responsibility.
- Declare right now that you choose to never again compare yourself with someone else. Do it. I’m waiting for you to say it Loud!!
- Commit to taking responsibility for minding your mind. Be vigilant checking in with your thoughts. When you catch yourself playing Stack Up-itis…..
- Discipline your mind. Make up a sentence to gently and lovingly tell yourself that the old you that won Olympic Gold no longer plays the sport. “Laurie, you are not the Terminator. You made a declaration to never compare yourself to anyone so stop comparing right now.”
- Be grateful for what you have and send your body some love. I love my cellulite….who doesn’t love dimples? J Every part that you criticize, send some love. Saggy boobs, indented thighs, squishy tummy, stretch marks, …..send love and see what happens. Pick one right now and say it out loud, “I love you my ___________________________________because you are a part of this amazing intelligent body that allows me to be alive. Thank you!”
- Repeat all of this until you get so good at catching the old self hurting patterns that they will no longer control any part of your life.
Originally published at www.ShamelessAging.com
