I am sitting here reeling in horror from what you have suffered in your life. Where was your mother when you were having such pains in middle and high school?
You don’t have to answer that. But if your doctor is not listening to you, get a new doctor!
I hope for your sake that you will soon meet the person of your dreams and have your children sooner rather than later. Then you could have the surgery you need. (Or you could make the decision now that you will adopt children — or freeze your eggs and eventually use a surrogate —and have the surgery NOW.)
As for myself, I experienced a somewhat similar situation: throughout my late 40s I was bleeding very heavily — as heavily as I had bled as a teenager — but because I’d read one chapter in a book about perimenopause, I thought it was normal! Then, at age 51, I went it for my bi-annual pap smear and discovered that I had a huge fibroid tumor. At my age, I readily chose a complete hysterectomy, after which they discovered I had had endometriosis, too.
Like you, I made the mistake of thinking my heavy bleeding was “normal”.
Now I’m encouraging all my friends over 50 to have a hysterectomy; it’s a great way to avoid ovarian cancer, and in my case, to no longer leave bloodstains on every mattress I’ve ever slept on!