How To Stop Lying To Yourself And Start Being Accountable

I stared in disbelief.

I couldn’t believe what happened to me.

Was I dreaming?

I felt terrible, yet I wasn’t the one who had told me a bare-faced lie.

No-one likes being lied to!

Well, we understand it when our young son, daughter, nephew or niece does?

We don’t condone it. We tolerate it for one or two occasions. Alongside tolerance we teach the dangers of lying as well as expounding the many benefits from telling the truth.

Yet, this was from a so-called mature person. A man or woman with plenty of life experience. Someone that I had been through ups and downs with.

They looked me in the face and told a bare face lie.

Unacceptable !.

When are they going to start to taking responsibility for their actions. Why don’t they realise they are accountable for what they say?

I’m pride myself on being a good reader of people. Yet, the poker facial expressions almost convinced me I was in the wrong.

How could they do it?

Have you ever been lied to?

Can you remember the pain, anger, betrayal, despair, frustration, or disbelief it caused?

Some relationships don’t survive these kind of lies. The depth of the breach seems irrecoverable.

We show our displeasure. We make it clear this kind of action has to stop.

If it doesn’t stop, then we will sever all ties with them. (SHOCK TREATMENT!)

They stay with us, and this scenario plays out day after day. No, sometimes they’re good for 2 or 3 days. After that, back to normal. A cycle repeated weekly, monthly, yearly.

Why so long?, I hear you ask.

THE BIGGEST LIAR

We hate being lied to! Agree?

Yet, aren’t we sometimes the biggest liar? When we lie to ourselves.

We use the mirror so our inner self can see how earnest we are.

Still, we tell ourselves barefaced lies.

“It can wait till tomorrow.”

“I’ll do double writing tomorrow.”

“Sleep a little longer, you can work later this evening to catch up.”

“It won’t harm if I miss my weekly review.”

We get the point!

So Why do we do lie to ourselves?
What can help us to stop lying ?
Who can help us with our accountability?

WHY LIE?

From my experience, it happens when I’m tired, flooded with negativity or overwhelmed.

Your reasons may be different, but there may be a common denominator.

We don’t trust our system!

If we don’t trust the system we use to do our tasks and projects we lose sight of the value of accountability.

Now, freelancers, writers, and stay at home mums or dads we need commendation when we get things done.

As we are home alone with no office camaraderie, the only pat on the back is going to be our own. Sad isn’t it.

So, whatever system we have we need to trust it. We need to feel our choice of what to do next is the right choice. To have confidence that all open loops feel organised and ready to do at the right time is important.

If not, we get tired, frustrated, overwhelmed and start to lose the value of accountability

Go ahead and block out a chunk of time in your calendar and use it to think about your system.

Be honest with yourself and analyse which parts of your system are not us trustworthy as others.

It could be that you have too many different kind of inboxes. Possibly, your list of tasks are all muddled together into different contexts? Maybe, some of the tasks you’ve assigned to yourself could be delegated to others or it’s a project that needs separating into individual tasks.

Go ahead and block out a chunk of time in your calendar and use it to think about your system.

WHAT HELPS?

Do you remember the A-Team?

Compelling Saturday night television viewing! It was when your 13 years old.

Nothing was too big for the A-Team.

What if we had our own A-Team, our own personal Accountability Team.

First member of this team is our family. Very few of us can succeed at freelancing if it wasn’t for an understanding and motivating family.

(GO AND THANK THEM NOW)

Second, we find excellent writing groups with writers or creatives. These ones will encourage, assist and give us a ‘virtual’ pat on the back.

If you are looking for that type of community, then check out these groups.

The Tribe Builders Network

Inkwell Writers Mastermind Group

Bulletproof Writers

Writers Together

Unstoppable Writers

So, set aside some time and check out these groups. See which ones will help you in your specific field of creativity.

What if we had our own A-Team, our own personal Accountability Team.

WHO IS THE BEST HELP?

I hope your not expecting me to write “I AM.”

That would be so big-headed.

It would be, and it’s not true.

Because, with the matter of accountability we need to “want to help ourselves.”

Once we’ve decided to help ourselves then it’s possible others can be invited to encourage and keep us on track.

We need to see the value of accountability through our own eyes and no one else’s.

Thus, here’s 3 quick tips where you can help yourself when it comes to accountability.

  1. Understand the purpose and reason for the work you are doing.
  2. Work in short but regular bursts of concentrated deep work.
  3. Reward yourself when you have a genuine to do so.

There are many other ways to help ourselves.

However, these three small action plans will get us started.

And don’t forget along with a trusted system and a encouraging support system it will help us grasp the importance of accountability.

Once you have decided on the goal of better accountability, I can help you set up a balanced and effective project and task management system.

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For more articles on productivity, Evernote, time-management and daily habits then visit The Productive Writer.