Drugs and other wars

Linda Adams
Jul 30, 2017 · 2 min read

I needed to get my shit into fifth gear. This was last night. And all I could think of was the prospect of having adderall at my disposal.

I dabbled in the drug when my friend had access to the prescription. I was younger and oblivious to the consequences, but the effects of the potion made me feel indestructible. That with the added bonus of being the most energetic person in the world.

Way back when, aka pre marriage life, I also popped my share of ecstasy. Talk about feeling like the best version of me and worth a million bucks— I would later learn that these days Molly is the purer version of the same and more potent in its euphoric delivering. I would never take that chance now as a mother to two children, but I daydream about its potential. Ah, the days I was rolling…

The truth is, since I gave up smoking weed, I’ve become a different person. I will never judge anyone for partaking in various substances but I just don’t look at the desire to carry thru the same way. It’s a comforting feeling, knowing that I have outgrown my need to supplement. I’ve become more comfortable in my skin and if I need a boost of sorts, there’s always caffeine.

Now that I’m mom, I worry about my children — I worry about their exposure to drugs and the friends/non-friends who use them. Apparently as a freshman last year, my daughter stated there was a slew of kids in her grade that began smoking weed and drinking whatever they could get their hands on. I don’t know why that surprised me when I knew the same thing was happening when I was her age, but being on the other side sure changes my perspective.

I have always felt honesty is the best policy. I hope when I’m ready, and my kids too, I can sit down and talk frankly about my drug use and how it affected me. They are still young, but I’d rather they hear about the wars I tackled with substance use rather than someone who’s just starting out.

What you don’t know won’t hurt you…is it better not to say anything? Would I be sending the wrong message if I do? How can I be sure that being honest about my drug use would steer them away from potential use rather than condone it?

I’d love feedback. If there is anyone in the Medium community who has kids and partook in drug use as a youngster; adults who have dabbled, or currently do, and recommend a way of delivering the message. Anything that sheds light on this subject matter or drugs and other wars. I’d love to hear.

Is it worth telling the whole truth?

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