Own your orgasms ladies!!
If you don’t, who will?

There have been many surveys, studies and articles published recently on the topic of the female orgasm or more importantly, the lack of said orgasm during intercourse. Many women have trouble reaching orgasm through sexual intercourse alone, I know, because I used to be one of them. I am glad that it is being talked about more, because women every where need to realise that they deserve their orgasm and pleasure just as much as their sexual partner.
I used to think that there was something wrong with me. Why could I get myself off with a vibrator but none of my partners could? Did I over stimulate my clit as a horny teenager spending hours stimulating myself with the massage function on the shower head, until all the hot water ran out? Did I desensitise myself by using such high pressure on my clit?
No, that couldn’t be it.
I found that during sex, I had so many thoughts running through my head, about how my body looks in a certain positions, or what he was thinking about my body. What he thought of my breasts and my pussy. Was I doing this to his liking, was he enjoying himself?
With all of this background noise, how the hell was I supposed to be relaxed enough to be able to achieve orgasm?
This went on for years and I went through many partners without orgasming from sex and if I’m being honest, I rarely came from oral sex either. So many men think that they can go down on a woman for 2 minutes and she’ll get there, or they think they should do it the way they saw it in a porno. That might work for some women, but I’m fairly certain it wouldn’t work for many others, including myself.
I speak from plenty of experience – so many men have no idea what they are doing. I get it. Women are hard work! Every woman’s clit likes to be stimulated in different ways (and I know this from experience also, I’ve been with plenty of female lovers also). Some like it slow and circular, others like a more up and down technique. Some women like their pussy eaten fast. Some like to be fingered, others don’t. How the heck are you supposed to know how the woman you are currently trying to get off, actually likes it? – here’s a hint … ask!!
I got so sick of never getting off with so many different guys, that I just gave up on it completely. I had even tried giving some of my partners some direction by telling them how I liked it and one of two things would happen. They’d do what I instructed for a minute or two and then revert back to what they were doing originally, or they’d get upset/angry that I was ‘disrespecting’ their technique. In the end, I just started faking orgasms and I got amazingly good at it. Sometimes I even thought I had tricked my body into thinking that I really had orgasmed, as I would get all flushed and see stars. I was so worried that he’d get upset if I didn’t get there and think that he wasn’t any good in bed. I was putting his pleasure above my own by stroking his ego.
After faking it for years and letting my body be used for pleasure by my sexual partners, but never achieving any myself, I decided enough was enough. It was time to start taking responsibility for my orgasm, because it seemed if I didn’t, no body else was going to. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed the act of sex even if I didn’t come. I have always been a giver, so watching and feeling the pleasure I was giving my partner, gave me a sense of satisfaction, but I really wanted to orgasm too!
Honestly, men can orgasm so easily. It’s almost frustrating how easily they are able to get off and while there are slight differences between them such as this guy likes it slow and sensual whereas that guy like is hard and fast, but either way, all that is needed for them to come is a bit of back and forth movement on their cock. Granted some orgasm quickly and others take longer, but I’ve rarely fucked a guy who didn’t orgasm at the end. I’ve even had guys orgasm before I even touched them. One man asked if he could undo my corset. He undid two clasps and then came in his underwear. I also had another guy blow while I was massaging him. I was running my finger nails up his thighs while kissing his belly area and then pop, it was all over. How the heck can someone come without having their genitals stimulated? I understand that this is premature ejaculation, but still, I wish it was that easy for us ladies!
I started working on different positions and which ones felt the best for me, which ones gave me the best stimulation and I just stopped caring about his pleasure and focused on my own. I became comfortable with my body and the way I looked naked and learned to quiet my mind through meditation. Finally, I was able to relax during sex!
The positions that I found worked best for me were cowgirl and reverse cowgirl. Cowgirl gave me the ability to rock back and forth, while grinding my clit on my partners pubic bone and reverse cowgirl was equally as stimulating as my clit would rub against his balls, which just feels amazing. By moving back and forth and also circling with my hips then slowing down when the guy was getting close, then working the speed back up and doing this over and over, I was actually able to have my first orgasm from sex. It was explosive. I couldn’t believe I had been missing out on this for all these years!
Of course some guys just can help themselves and they blow quickly, but if I was sleeping with a guy who had decent stamina, I was able to finally get off! What relief this was for me.
I know that many women don’t like certain positions because they feel self conscious about their bodies. They don’t like the way their belly looks in this position or how their booty looks in that one. Learning to love your body by being comfortable with the way you look and also owning your sexuality is so important. Like I said earlier, how are you meant to get off with all of these thoughts running through your mind? You need to relax! And to relax, you need to be comfortable with who you are!
Your orgasm is equally important as your partners. Don’t settle for anything less! If you can’t seem to get there from oral or sex even after all of this, bring out the toys! Even if it bruises his ego a little, it’s better for him to be upset for a few minutes and you achieve orgasmic relief than to have no orgasm at all!
And guys, please, don’t think that I am putting you all in the same basket. I know that many of you really do try to please your woman and I thank you for that. But the reality is, there are a vast number of men who don’t.
Own your orgasm ladies!
