“Glad to see you keeping up with your blog / newsletter & book when you can. I’m inspired by your commitment to your craft. Keep doing it!” She said.
Not that I need motivation nowadays, but her encouraging words were like a warm hug. But more than that she help me with a battle that goes on in my head when I am not battling writer’s block. Random thoughts that often enter without permission about doing enough. Being enough. Or the feeling that I should be further along.
I know I don’t battle this alone. I know people who have lost to these thoughts. And allow themselves to get caught up in the world wind of “keeping up with the Jones.” At least that’s what we use to call it back in the days. But just in case you’re not from my generation. The best way to explain it: you keep comparing what you are doing to what your friends are doing on social media. And it looks like they’re doing everything with ease. Opportunities are falling in their laps, while you struggle. That’s when those thoughts that you’re not doing enough surface. And the battle begins.
But as I read the list of things I am doing. Courtesy of a faithful reader, who’s paying attention. It reminded me that I am doing enough. I am enough. And more important, it’s okay for me to do what I am doing at my own pace. As long as I don’t stop.
However, people do allow those thoughts to win. They get burnout and they stop doing, they stop living. They say they lost their love for the work, it’s not fun anymore. Although this may be true. What is also true is the battle they fight, watching others have and they have not. Which makes them filled with anxiety to do what everyone else is doing. And do it better. And maybe, do it first. And that rat race often associated with 9–5’s becomes a part of their creative lives. And it can smother anyone’s gift. It can get crazy. It can make you crazy.
I was there once. Remember, I had to re-group, then re-launch?
So now I tell myself, it’s okay to take baby steps to my success. To celebrate the small achievements. To only compare myself to what I did last and not to others. To keep my eyes on my stuff. Because if I don’t I can get frazzled. With pen in hand writing a bunch of to do’s without doing much. I don’t want to be that girl.
I would rather go deep within and connect to the gift God has placed inside of me. And use the gifts to connect with Him and others. Even when deadlines become my boss, I still want to create with passion and love for the art.
And as I grow in responsibilities and ability, I want to have the strength to keep going. So I must work at my own pace. Some days that will mean slow and steady and other days will be fast as a running heart beat. The velocity will fluctuate. But if I do it with consistency and contentment grace will follow.