Teknolust (2002)

I love dated movies about the internet, the mixture of what they got right, what they got almost right and what they got like totally wrong is just fascinating. Like, for some reason, movies seemed really into the idea that the internet was just code swirling around and then sometimes, a heavily made-up woman purring metaphysics and psychological theory into a high-contrast overhead camera. Love it, but no.

This one has the bonus of having Tilda Swinton play four different roles in addition to having fun supporting cast members like Jeremy Davies (Lost, Justified, Rescue Dawn), Karen Black (who gets called out as looking like the lay in that movie), and James Urbaniak (Dr. Freakin’ Venture).

Meet Tilda Swinton, artificial intelligence expert; Tilda Swinton, cyborg digital Typhoid Mary; Tilda Swinton, nurturing cuddlebug, and Tilda Swinton angry cuddlebug who wants to speak in short encrypted phrases.

Sure, there are issues to be discussed within it about male and female sexuality, about digital identity as opposed to reality, but really this movie seems keen on having a good laugh at its own expense. The cyborgs created by Rosetta Stone (for real, Rosetta Stone) need to consume sperm — no more than three samples per man — in order to survive. The side effect being for the men that they get a rash in the shape of a bar code on their forehead, flu-like symptoms, and some drive-related side effects. “She was attractive. And very color-coordinated.” as the description of one of these hapless men seduced by Ruby.

Ruby learns her seduction techniques by watching old movies, reciting declarations of love and adoration that come off as dated non sequiturs, but still manage to do the trick in a lot of cases.

Plus there’s a dance-off with three Tilda Swintons.

This flick was being shown at FIT. No idea where y’all can find it, sorry. Lady Picture Show recommends putting your giggle hat on for all the very silly one-liners.