photo by Lesly B. Juarez

Are funny women intimidating?

I just saw the tab “Funny women” on medium and I thought that it would be an interesting subject to talk about.

I personally consider myself to be a funny woman. I mean, I’m no comedian but I do enjoy cracking some jokes and entertaining my friends.

I’ve heard/seen women comedians talk about how being funny gives them a hard time in the dating life. Now if I’d have to apply that to my personal life, I would have to say that it is quite accurate (21 years of celibacy and counting! woot woot!).

I decided to type the title of my post “Are funny women intimidating?” on our dear friend google and funny enough a lot of things popped up. Here are a few things that were being said:

  • On “I think it’s because guys feel like being funny is a tool they can use when picking up / meeting / dating a girl to impress her, or get her to like him, and it’s a little intimidating when the person on the other side of the line has your secret weapon too.” — I never saw it like that. So if I understood correctly, being funny is more of a man’s quality and if a woman has it too then it’s off-putting and intimidating? I kind of see how it is men’s “weapon”. But personally I think that at first I became funny because it was my only defense. I’m very shy and awkward and the only way that I could truly express myself and be somewhat “free” was by saying a joke and by being funny. It was never my “weapon” to get guys, it was more of a self-defense automatic reflex. It later on became who I am. I am funny and so it would be natural for me to try to make people laugh. Plus, I love when people laugh it makes me happy!
  • On “Emily Candini, who started as a stand-up comedian (…) civilian men who complained that she was too intimidating. “I’ve been told that I’m not the type of girl that they could take home and meet their parents,” she said.” — A funny woman is intimidating and she’s not the type of woman that (some) men would bring to their parents? I wonder why that is… I mean, everybody has their personal tastes. If you don’t like funny women that’s fine. But I still don’t really understand that dislike for funny women. First of all, why are we so intimidating? Maybe because of what was said in the point above, but still that’s not a valid reason. I mean aren’t we allowed to laugh? Or I guess we’re only here to laugh at men’s jokes. Which is pretty sexist if you ask me. I mean don’t get me wrong men are funny and I love to laugh at their jokes. But I want people to laugh because of me too. I feel like I’m bringing joy and happiness to others, and that feels good. Is that why funny women are intimidating? Because we know how to bring joy and happiness to others? I don’t know. This subject is starting to confuse me…
  • On Research indeed suggests there’s an important link between humor and intelligence: The funniest people are also consistently the smartest. (…) It’s necessary for men to use humor when trying to attract women, not the other way around. (…) Still, however, studies have shown that women want men who can make them laugh, and men want women who they can make laugh.” — So yet again humor is more of a man’s trick in order to get the woman. But it’s not really a woman’s trick/weapon to get the man. I suppose that’s because a woman’s weapon would more likely be something like her appearance? Which would yet again be pretty sexist. If I had to choose, I’d keep my sense of humor rather than being considered as “good looking”. I guess that’s why I’ve been single all that time! Am I funny but ugly?! Dang it! I don’t have the woman’s “typical” weapon, I’m screwed! *sad face*

Anyway, although I showed here all the researches that show that indeed men are intimidated by funny women, I also saw a lot of comments and analysis about the contrary. I guess it all depends on the person, some men are intimidated by funny women and some others are not. And some women are funny and some others are not. As the saying goes:

“It takes all kinds to make a world!”

(And it takes all kinds of funny people to make the world laugh.)

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