Creativity Helps The Demons Stay Away
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On Monday, I had what I call a “depression episode” it was filled with a lot of crying and a few panic attacks.
But somehow amidst all of this, I still managed to do one thing.
And that thing was, to be creative.
In between cries and panic attacks, I was able to draw.
Sure, I was still depressed and not quite well but drawing still gave me a little break.
It allowed me to breathe a little.
It allowed me to be a little bit happy and proud of myself amidst the chaos.
And the funny part is that I actually wanted to draw!
Usually when you’re depressed, you feel sick and you just want to stay under your cover and pretend that nothing exists.
Which I have done, multiple times, in the past.
But this time, I didn’t just want to sit around and let depression eat away my time on earth.
I didn’t want depression to eat my dreams and my ambitions.
I didn’t want depression to eat everything that makes me alive.
Yes, I was depressed.
And I acknowledged it multiple times during the day.
I let depression have its time during the day.
But I was sure not going to let it have the whole dang day!
So whenever I would hear that voice that would tell me “I want to draw. I want to do something now.” while the other voice was saying “no. I’m depressed, I want to stay in bed. It’s so comfy! Plus, what’s the point of doing anything?”
I would listen to the first voice no matter how loud the second one was screaming.
I would just let myself work.
And when my other voice would say “can we cry now?” I would let myself cry a little.
So, thist past monday was a tough day for me.
But it taught me that it’s ok.
It’s ok to feel.
It’s ok to acknowledge your feelings.
And it’s ok to cry sometimes.
It’s ok not to be ok.
But as Sam Smith posted on his instagram:
Creativity does help you feel a little bit better.
Even if it’s not all the way better, it’s still a little bit better.
Creativity has personally really helped me a lot in the past couple of months.
Creativity has become my therapy.
So in the end what I can say about being an artist is that it’s not about being famous or money.
Being an artist is about doing something that makes you happy.
Being an artist is about doing something that keeps you sane.
Being an artist is about doing something that keeps you going when a voice inside of your head tells you that you shouldn’t.
At least, that’s why I am an artist and that’s why I do what I do.
Because it makes me happy, it keeps me sane and it keeps me going.
Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without my creativity and all the things that help me express it.
And I really hope that you too can find things that allow you to express your creativity.
And if you think that you’re not creative, then you should probably read my other blog post and let your creativity come out.
Because everyone is creative.
Creativity is part of being alive!
We all have it.
We just have to find a way to let it express itself.
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