How to survive life as a celibate.
The benefits of celibacy.
Well today’s blog is going to be a combination of both. I give you:
How to survive life as a celibate.
I’m actually not sure if I can be considered a celibate if I’ve never actually had sex before… I think that being celibate and being a virgin are probably two different things but still, they are very much similar nonetheless.
If you want to have the point of view of a real “celibate” then watch Maya Washington (ShamelessMaya)’s videos where she talks about it:
Or maybe read Meagan Good and her husband DeVon Franklin’s book called “The wait” where they talked about being celibate before their marriage.
Before I start, let me start by putting a disclaimer, my post won’t be a post about religion or faith or beliefs just like Maya or Meagan and her husband. To those people that I’ve mentioned, faith plays a big part in their choice of celibacy. To me, it doesn’t really play any role really.
Now, let’s start with the first question and the question that so many people have asked me:
WHY? — Why don’t you have sex? ; Why don’t you have a fling with this one or that one? ; Why have you never tried it? etc…
My answer is: “why not?” — First of all let me ask you something, why do you think that I absolutely HAVE to have sex? — Is it because everybody else is doing it? ; Is it because otherwise I’m not cool? ; Is it because it’s simply fun? ; Is it because I should have done it at a specific time of my life otherwise I’m a failure?
Why is it that everyone is so obsessed over “when somebody had/has sex”, “with whom” and whatnot? — Why do we put that much pressure on each other? — I’ll have sex when I’ll have sex! Whether I lose my virginity at 16 or at 30 is none of your business and either way it’s not a shameful thing. I’ll never truly understand the “cool” factor in having sex and quite frankly it’s getting on my nerves. Because we live in a society where we pressure young kids to look a certain “cool” way and do certain “cool” things and I see so many young children doing all sorts of things just to be “cool”, including having sex. Which scares me! I don’t want to see 12-year-olds having sex or even thinking about it! Even 16-year-old is very young in my opinion. Those children act so much like “adults”, that we don’t even have children anymore! They go straight from babies to adults! What is up with that?
But this post is not really about at what age you should or should not start having sex…
This is a post to tell you that my life, life as a celibate, is not as “sad” or “pathetic” as some people might think it is.
NUMBER 1 — Life as a celibate is worry free.
At least it’s worry free regarding your dating life. You don’t have to worry about another person: whether they ignore you or not, whether they’re cheating on you or not, whether you should pay or they should, whether you should buy them a gift or not etc… It kinda sounds selfish but you actually don’t have to care for another person which can be nice. And because of that it gives you time for point number 2:
NUMBER 2 — Life as a celibate gives you more free time for yourself!
Because you’re not constantly overthinking about some text that someone sent you, you actually have more time to focus on yourself. When you’re celibate, you learn to know yourself and you’re able to do things for yourself!
So my advice here is to just really truly focus on yourself, without any distractions! You can do so much on your own! So take that time to really see all the things that you can do! I’m not saying that you need to be a hermite, I’m saying “learn what you’re capable of doing on your own”! Take me for instance, I learned that I actually know how to draw. I took the time and effort to learn how to draw by myself! Also I have more time to focus on things that I like to do and that I want to do like travelling, singing, dancing, photography, filmmaking, blogging etc… There’s so much that I want to be doing and that I need to be doing, I wouldn’t have time to do all of that if I was dating someone and if I had to worry about them aswell as myself.
NUMBER 3 — Life as a celibate allows you to really appreciate the friendships that you have.
It’s not because you’re celibate that you should stop going out and have fun with your friends. In fact, being celibate gives you more time to truly be there for them! Especially when it comes to relationships. It’s not because you’re celibate that you don’t give good advices about relationships! 😉
Granted sometimes I don’t see my friends for a short period of time because of my occupations but still, I’m very much interested and invested in their lives. And even when I don’t really have time, I’m always available if someone is not feeling too well or if they just need someone to talk to.
Those are my top 3 reasons that celibacy is great! At least for me and at this point of my life. I’m conscious that everyone is different and if a life full of dates and sex is your thing then so be it, I won’t judge. Everyone is free to do whatever they want. But the most important part is “do whatever YOU want” not “do whatever society tells you to do or not to do” or “do whatever your family and friends tell you to do”. The most important part really is knowing yourself and knowing what really works for you personally. Don’t get caught up in the “coolness” of other people’s lives, do whatever YOU think is cool for YOU personally not whether it’s cool in the eyes of others!
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