A book by Lalaina Rackson
Chapter 1 — On the journey to finding herself.
🎶 — I’m a little sun shy when the sun shines on the wrong day
And I believe my bed is a constant bearer of these sun shades
Cuz I’m a little sun shy when the sun light beckons I wake up
Oh, I wont wake up — 🎶
“Ugh!” My alarm clock rings. I don’t know why I thought this song would be a good one to wake up to. Ok, I guess I know why. The song’s got a pretty good summer-y vibe. I blindly look for my phone on my night stand and turn the alarm off.
Most people my age would still be sleeping right now since it is summer. But I had decided to get myself a summer job. What a brilliant idea. I loved my job though. I’m not going to complain. It’s my favorite place to just sit back and read a good book.
I go take a quick shower, get dressed and go downstairs. I eat my breakfast while re-reading “The fault in our stars”. Then the doorbell rings. I look at the clock. 6:25am. “Right on time I whisper”.
I go get the door.
“Hi Laura come in! I was about to head out! I’ll go wake up Josh while you prepare his breakfast.”
“Hi! Yes, I know Ava! You say this — ”
“ — Every morning! I know sorry I can’t help it!” I shake my head with a smile on my face. I put my bowl in the dish washer then head upstairs. I knock on Josh’s room.
“Hey wakey wakey buddy! Laura is here to babysit you!”
“Ugh! I’m not a baby anymore!”
“Come on buddy you can’t make her wait! Mom already left and I’m heading out now come on!” I crawl inside his bed and tickle him.
“Haha okay! Stop! I’m up! I’m up!”
“Good! Well, have a nice day! See you tonight!” I kiss him on the cheek and then I quickly go brush my teeth. I pick up my bag and head out. I check my phone. 6:30am. Perfect. I open the front door.
“Bye Laura! Bye Josh! Have a nice day!”
I faintly hear “goodbyes” as I close the door. I get my bike and head to “The Toffee”. That’s where I work. It’s a small coffee shop and their most popular drink is the toffee coffee. Sounds appealing, I know. I arrive early as I always do. I open the door and let the sugary scent hit my nose. I smile. This is good. I get myself ready behind the counter and soon enough the clock strikes 7 o’clock and customers are starting their day with a warm coffee and a donut maybe? or would that be a chocolate cake for this young lady? Probably not, maybe she’s on a diet. She looks like she’s been working out. I tilt my head to the side and double check. Definitely. Yoga pants. Sports bra. Hair tied up in a ponytail. Maybe she’ll take a green iced tea with a drop of coconut milk then.
“Hi welcome to Toffee Coffee! What can I get you?”
“Hi! Can I have a green iced tea with a drop of coconut milk, please?” Bingo! I smile.
“Of course! Anything else?”
“No that’d be all. thank you!”
“That would be two fifty.” She hands me the money as I hand her her drink. “Have a nice day!”
The week goes by slowly for some reason. And the weather is playing with my nerves. Today is wednesday and it is raining cats and dogs outside. This is quite depressing. And on top of that, my eighteenth birthday is saturday. I know I should be happy, which I am. But I don’t know, I have this weird feeling. It’s like there’s a hole inside of me. Let’s be honest here, I’ve been feeling this hole ever since my dad died… This happened 6 years ago. A car accident… And ever since that day I made sure I took care of my mom and my little brother. He was only two when dad died. I sighed. Ever since that day I’ve been what you would call a goody two shoes. I don’t mind really. I like being a good girl. People usually liked me or they would have no opinion of me. No opinion is better than bad opinion right? My high school experience was fairly nice. I never got in trouble. People didn’t particularly hate me which is surprising since everyone in high school is supposed to hate each other. I chose to make myself small during those years. Not get into any kind of trouble, get good grades, be nice to people, give a helping hand to whom ever needs it, graduate and go to college. That was the plan. Everything was nice. Everything is nice. So why do I feel like crying right now? Once again, I would blame it on the rain. It always messes up my mood. I never understood people that loved rain. But maybe it’s not even the rain making me feel like this, maybe it’s my girl hormones. I don’t know. Turns out it’s raining the rest of the week too. Which is even more depressing. Sigh. On friday I start to feel anxious. I want to do something good for my birthday. But not a party. No one will come anyway since everyone already went away for the summer. Besides, I don’t really like parties. But I want to do something. Anything. Anything that can be exciting. I try to think of ideas all throughout the day. Bungee jumping? Heck no! Why did I even think about it? I need something exciting but also eye opening. And then it hits me.
At the end of the day, I go back home as fast as my legs get me. I eagerly open the front door.
“A road trip!” I say beaming. My brother and my mother look back at me with raised eyebrows.
“Is that a question or an affirmation? Oh! Hello by the way. How was your day? It was good mom! I missed you all day and I love you so so much!” My mother replied trying to mimic the way I talk. I laughed.
“Hello mother! Hello Joshua! How was your day? You guys both know that I love you dearly!” I said with the weirdest British accent ever as I joined them on the couch to kiss them.
“So what is it that you were saying earlier? A road trip? What’s that about?”
“Well, my birthday is tomorrow. And I’m turning eighteen. And I’m going off to college after the summer break. And I’ve always been a good girl mom! But I feel like there is something missing. Like a part of me! And I’m not talking about dad. Although maybe it has something to do with dad too. But what I’m trying to say is that I’ve always been the good girl but I’m not sure that I’ve always been me. You know? So maybe I could go on a road trip for my birthday, I have enough money saved up. I think? And… and it would be good for me. It will open my eyes about the world and also about myself. Who I am. Who I really am and who I want to be. You know?” I say in one quick breath rambling like there was no tomorrow.
My mother looks at me eyes wide open. I wait for a reaction. Any reaction other than this weird silence. It’s killing me. But then she blinks. Phew she’s still there. I exhale.
“Um well… That’s… Mmm… I guess… I guess you’re right.” I blink ferociously. Did she just agree with me? “Ever since your… Hum… I mean… you’ve helped me so much around the house and with Josh. And that’s true you’re a good girl. And I’m sorry that you feel like you don’t really know who you really are…” Tears started to roll down her cheeks.
“Mom” I whisper as I hug her.
“I guess it’s time for you to find yourself.”
🎶 — I’m a little sun shy when the sun shines — 🎶
I turn my alarm clock off as fast as I could. To be honest, I was already up. Or was I ever asleep? Either way I’m feeling ecstatic! Today is sunday. And I’m going on a road trip.
Yesterday was nice. I had taken the day off to stay with my family and celebrate my eighteenth birthday. We ate waffles pretty much all day. That was nice. We played games and laughed and watched old videos of us and then cried and then we took a nap or two… It was fun. But today will be even more fun. Or not. I don’t know but I’m excited. I got up, took a good nice last shower in my own comfy little shower then I dressed up. I double checked my bags, to make sure that I had everything I would need for this road trip. Mom had bought plenty of food in case I get hungry on the road. The car was already loaded. The car. Ah! Yes! My new baby! I didn’t even think about that when I had the idea of going on a road trip. I just thought that I would take mom’s car which wouldn’t have been possible since she needs it to go to work and all. Silly me. But to my surprise my mother had bought me a nice little car. Which would be quite practical for me on this road trip. Yes, indeed! I bring all my bags down. They were filled with a few clothes and other necessary items such as soap, insecticidal, a tent in case I want to go all camper mode, my book and an emergency book in case I finish the first one, sunglasses and other road trip must-have.
“You’re all set?” My mother asked while making breakfast.
“Yup! Where’s Josh?”
“He’s still in bed. I tried to wake him up but I guess you guys slept really late last night watching movies!”
“Ah yes! But it was nice! I’ll go say goodbye to him after breakfast!” We talk as we eat breakfast. This is it. I’m not going to see my mom all summer. I. must. not. cry. But I guess that she saw my mood change.
“Are you alright?” She asks so soothingly. I guess a few tears came down because she brought her hand up to my cheeks and wiped them away. “You sure you want to go?” I nodded. Yes I was sure. I’ve never been that sure about anything. But I also have never been away from my family. My mom hugged me. We stayed like that for what felt like forever. It felt good.
“Okay!” I sniffed. “I’m ready now!” I got up and smiled. I put away our dishes. I ran back upstairs to brush my teeth. Then I stopped at Josh’s room. I knocked. No response. I guess he was still asleep.
“Hey buddy! I’m going to go!” I crawled into his bed but this time I didn’t tickle him. Instead I hugged him. A few seconds later I heard him say:
“Are you going to be alright? You know, out in the woods and all?” I laughed.
“I guess. But if that’s what you’re worried about then I guess I won’t go into the woods.” He laughed. I sighed.
“What about you? Are you going to be alright with mom and Laura?”
“I guess. But if that’s what you’re worried about then I guess I won’t stay anywhere near Laura.” I burst out laughing. What a little clown. “I’m going to miss you.”
“And I’m going to miss you too buddy!” He turns around to hug me. Yet again we stay like that for what felt like ages.
“Alright kiddos! Are you ready?” I say as I look back at my mother and brother. My mom shakes her head with a smile on her face. My brother is looking down at his feet.
“Here Ava. Take this and I’m not going to take no for an answer!” My mom hands me an envelope with a couple of dollar bills. “In case you don’t have enough money.”
“You didn’t have to mom. But thanks!” I hug her one last time. My brother joins us for the last hug of the day. “Okay time to go now!”
I get into my car, check the time. 9:30 am. Perfect. Ok. Let’s go!
THE FIRST AND SECOND CHAPTERS ARE NOW AVAILABLE ON WATTPAD HERE!! (FOR FREE) I’ll post a new chapter on wattpad every thursday so make sure to follow me there! Thank you to everyone who said they liked it so far! I’m not sure where this is going but let’s have fun! 🙊💙