Take the punch like a champ!

And get your ass back in the game!

I feel like everyone around me is happy getting everything they want. And also some are getting what I want and work very hard for. Which can be pretty frustrating. And I’m not saying that they don’t deserve everything that is happening in their life! I know that they also work hard and they deserve it! But I’m tired. I mean I am happy for everyone. I mean, they are my friends. Of course they deserve to be happy! That is part of the reason why I always try to make people happy, smile or laugh. I’m addicted to happiness. But it very much looks like everyone is getting happiness except for me. And I’m not trying to throw a pity party here. I don’t want anyone’s pity. I just am tired of being happy for everyone. And yet it seems like I cannot even be happy myself. And I know that happiness is more of a state of mind. And I do am happy. Trust me! But whenever I’m slightly too happy I always ALWAYS get a fucking slap in the face. I’m not sure what I’ve done to Karma. Not that I truly believe in Karma in the first place. But it’s really tiring. I really work very hard to get where I want to go. I mean, yesterday I posted a post talking about working myself into sickness. I literally work too hard and I am too hard on myself that I even got myself sick!

I walk on this adventure called life very happy and confident that I am doing the right thing and that I am doing what makes me happy. But it really is getting harder to stay strong. And I really try! I mean, I have the sentence “Underdog fighting trying to stay strong” tattooed on my arm. It’s not for nothing. But I’m kind of tired of fighting to be strong. I know I am strong. I’m not sure I really do need all the shit that is coming my way to prove myself or anyone else that.

I don’t know…

I’m just really angry right now. Normally I would be sad when something bad happens to me. But I’m tired of crying. I literally fought the tears that threatened to come out of my eyes. I genuinely thought I was going to slap myself. Or a wall. Not sure which would have been worse…

If you know me, you know that I am a very positive person and that I usually post hopeful posts that might or might not inspire you. I, not only try to inspire other people through my posts but I also try to inspire myself first and foremost. Because the only person that can force me to just keep going is myself. And I’m the only one that knows how important it is for me not to give up.

Once again, I’m just going to take this punch like a champ. Get the fuck back up. And find me a fucking solution to my predicament!

P.S: I’m so sorry for all the cursing. I’m not a big fan of them. But desperate time calls for desperate measure! I’m still sorry though!