The unlucky curse: sensing when something bad’s going to happen.

Let me clear this up, I’m not a pessimist. I’m probably one of the most optimistic person ever. That being said, you might think otherwise after reading this.

I don’t know how many of you read my post “Prepare yourself for the worst”, but basically I was saying that you need to prepare for the situation not to go according to plan so then you can prepare yourself in the best way that you can. And when the bad thing actually happens, because you were prepared, it would feel as if it was not even a bad situation.

I was not telling people to be pessimistic, but just a little bit realist. Things can happen and your situation might not turn as good as you hoped it would. That’s the reality. Of course I wish you the best and I hope that everything is going according to plan for you. But let’s be honest, shit really does happen. We cannot help it.

I’ve been such a optimistic person my whole life but life has always found a way to mess up my plans, so now I have developed a new sense (a sixth sense if you will). I now sense, or feel when something bad might be waiting for me around the corner. Of course, I tell myself “No. That’s just a silly feeling! You’ve got this girl! Everything’s going to be ok. You’ll get everything you’ve hoped for! Don’t worry.” But I can never feel as if everything is ok and everything will be ok. I guess you can call it paranoïa… But the thing is that I’ve been used to bad things waiting for me around the corner, so it’s a normal reaction for me to always feel like something bad’s going to happen. I really don’t want to think like that and I don’t like thinking like that. But I cannot help it. And if it turns out that nothing bad was in fact waiting for me and everything actually goes to plan then I’m going to be happy. Happier than ever and relieved. And that will feel good!

I don’t really know where I’m going with this post but I just wanted to say that I’m scared that something bad might happen in the next few months. And that things won’t go according to plan. I’m kind of tired of the lows I’ve been going through. I’ve been going through a lot those past couple of months. Even those past couple of years. So it’d be nice if for once, things went smoothly and nicely so I can breath.

As always I’m preparing for the worst. So if it does happen I’m ready to turn the bad situation into a great lesson/experience. I’m confident that I can take on whatever life throws at me. It’s just gets tiring sometimes but hey, I’m not an “underdog fighting trying to stay strong” for nothing!


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