Things won’t happen the way we want them to.

Today I’m sad. Because something that I really wanted to happen a certain way is most likely not going to happen as I envisioned. And that breaks my heart. I’m not a capricious person. I know that most of the time you don’t get what you want or wish for. I’ve always known that and that’s why I’ve become such a strong person. Because I’ve always worked hard for the things that I wanted. And if it doesn’t happen a certain way then I’m going to try again, try better and try another way.

But I’ve been strong for so long now. Nothing was ever handed to me easily or in a way that I wanted it. I’ve had my fair share of struggle and I know that it’s not over. I’m still going to struggle a lot throughout my life, I know that. But for once, just for once, I wished that this particular situation could be different. I’ve had a specific thing that I wanted to happen a certain way and it’s not going the way that I wanted it to. This was probably the only thing that I ever really truly wished it could happen a certain way. Usually I’m always positive and hopeful for things to happen a certain way but ultimately I know that nothing ever really does. And I’m ok with that. But this one particular thing, I cannot help but feel really sad and tired because of the way it’s going. I’m still hopeful and positive because that’s just the way that I am, I always find a way to make it work. And I know that this particular thing is going to happen eventually. But it’s not happening fast enough and it’s not happening like I envisioned it…

I guess my lesson for today is: Keep your head high!

Things are tough. And things are going to get tougher, but that’s just life. We just have to take it as it is and stay strong. Nothing will ever come easily. And maybe that’s for the better.

I’m so grateful that I’ve become so strong over the years. But sometimes I just wish that I didn’t have to be that strong. Because sometimes things can be tiring and I’d love to just stop right there and not move or not do a thing. But I can’t, because I have to stay strong and just keep going. That’s what I’ve been doing all my life “Stay strong and keep going”, it is my default setting. I cannot stop and just give up. Sometimes I wish I could but I just can’t. And that why things are hard for me. Because I’m not a quitter. It seems so easy and liberating to just give up and move on but when it’s something that I’m passionate about I cannot for the life of me give up. It’s just not possible.

So here is my other lesson: If it’s something that truly means a lot to you then don’t give up! No matter how hard things get. And no matter what life throws at you. You’ll get there eventually! Just hold on!

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