When You Have Depression
Depression is a really hard thing to deal with.
And those who say “cheer up! It’s not that big of a deal! Don’t be sad!” clearly don’t know what depression is.
It’s not that we don’t want to cheer up or that life isn’t beautiful but it’s just that we just feel way too fucking much! (Pardon my language)
It’s just a lot to take for our body, mind and soul.
So please understand that it is not that easy to “cheer up” when you’re in that state.
Yesterday, I was depressed.
And as much as I’d like to “cheer up” I just couldn’t.
I mean, I might fake it and put on a brave face and somewhat of a smile on my face.
But that doesn’t mean that I don’t breathe heavily and start to tear up every time that I notice that nobody’s watching me.
Sometimes I just wish that I could just stay in bed forever and not have to feel nor fake being ok to the world.
I want to be ok. I really do!
But the truth is that I am not always ok.
And it’s hard not to be ok in a world where everybody expects you to say “I’m fine” when they ask you “how are you?”
Yesterday, I felt like a bad person.
As if something was wrong with me.
As if I was a fraud or something for not being able to be happy or for not feeling a 100% happy all day long.
And I also felt tired. Not just of life in general but of feeling depressed.
That’s the thing with depression.
Sometimes, you can also be depressed about having depression.
It’s really not a fun thing to be depressed…
And we certainly don’t choose to be depressed or not.
If I could choose, trust me, I’d get rid of my depression in a heartbeat.
But I just can’t “cheer up” and make it all disappear. That’s not how it works!
Sometimes I think that depression is really just my mind telling me that it’s ok to feel.
It’s ok to feel like you’re lost or that you’re all alone or that you’re not good enough.
Everybody feels this way at some point.
And it’s ok to feel this way.
What’s not ok though, is thinking that you’re not normal for feeling this way or thinking that those feelings are a reflection of the truth.
You might feel lost but you can and you will find your way back to your own right path.
You might feel like you’re alone but you’re not all alone. We’re all in this together!
And you might feel like you’re not good enough but just by being, you’re more than good enough!
And just the fact that you simply are and you simply exist, that makes you amazing!
But it’s hard to come to those conclusions when you fall into the pit of depression.
Because when you’re in that pit, it feels like you don’t know anything anymore.
It feels like the things that you once knew and the things that you were sure about are just complete lies.
And suddenly you do believe that you’re indeed lost, alone, not good enough and not normal…
And it feels like you’re lying to yourself if you try to believe otherwise.
I know that depression is not an easy thing to go through but it’s going to be ok.
It might not be ok right now and you might not feel ok but it’s going to be ok eventually.
And I think that the most important thing that you have to remember is that it’s ok not to be ok.
Don’t beat yourself up even more for not being ok.
Acknowledge that you’re not ok and do whatever can help you slowly heal.
There’s no easy quick fix.
You’ll just have to ride the waves.
And you are more than capable to do so!
I believe that depression happens when you let life and other people knock you down and be all up in your head.
One thing that I’ve realized is that although I don’t think that I’ll ever fully get rid of those dark moments, one thing that is true and will always be true is that I am loved by the person who created me.
God put me on earth for a reason.
I might not know or understand the reason behind that but He created me with intentions and love!
No matter how dark the moment may seem, no matter how lost I may feel, God is and will always be there with me and He’ll always be for me!
He will never give up on me because He knows what I am capable of doing.
So in those dark moments, the only thing that keeps me going is knowing that God trusted me and loved me enough to create me and put me on earth, the least I can do is push through those dark moments and be the person that He created me to me.
He created me to be a great person, so that is what I am going to be!
And He created you to be a great person too so I hope that my post can open your eyes to your own greatness!
We are all here for a reason!
We all carry greatness within us!
Let’s make good use of what’s been offered to us!
You are not alone.
You are not unloved.
You are not unworthy.
Because God created you, so He will be with you every step of the way with all His Love and He has already put worthiness into you when He created you!
Stay strong, carry on and go be the greatness that God created you to be!
You can do it because God made you capable of doing it!
So have no fear, have no doubt, victory is waiting for you!