You Are In Control of The Outcomes Of Your Life
Sometimes we think that things only happen to us, as if we are subjected to them as opposed to things happening as a result of our behavior and multiple other things that we’re in control of.
Often times we put the blame on other people as if they decided to make certain things happen and we simply have to endure their decisions.
I’m saying this because I take care of children and they love to put the blame on everyone else but themselves. Which is a normal behavior for a child but they have to learn not to blame other people.
And it’s part of my job to make them understand those kind of lessons.
The one specific case where I think that they should learn this lesson is when they get punished.
Often times when they get punished, they’d yell “it’s your fault if my parents (insert punishment here) because you want me to be punished! You want to tell my parents (that I behaved badly).”
This sentence always takes me aback because it’s not true that I personally want them to get punished.
But the truth is, if they behave badly, they will get punished. That’s a simple rule.
Here’s what I tell them to make them understand that they are in control of the outcomes:
“If you get punished, it’s your decision and your decision only. It’s not my decision. It’s not your parents decision. If you behave badly, you are the one who decides to behave badly. You are the one who decides to be punished at the end. None of us are making you do this.”
We are not over here forcing them to behave badly.
Therefore, they are in control of what comes next.
They are in control of the outcomes.
And by saying that, I help them realize that they are really in control of the outcomes. And that they have to adjust their behavior if they don’t want the outcomes to be bad.
Their parents, along with me, are not the ennemies.
We are not plotting to punish them left and right.
The only reason that they get punished is because they decided to do the one thing that they know they shouldn’t do (i.e behave badly).
We all have the choice to do good and be good.
And sometimes when the outcomes are bad, we like to blame it all on everyone else or on anything but ourselves. But maybe it’s not the fault of this person or that person but maybe it’s just our fault.
We are in control of more than we think and it is our job to behave accordingly in order to get the outcomes that we desire.
I am conscious that sometimes, other factors can come into place.
Factors that we have no control of.
But we still choose how we are going to act when we face those certain factors so in the end, it’s really us who are in control of the outcomes.